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Attacking Adversity

Go Hiking And Develop Your Attributes

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Yes, by now if you have been reading these tributes to hiking you know what I m going to say. Hiking will help you develop your attributes.

It doesn’t take much skill to hike. You just need to know how to put one foot in front of another. It is different from climbing or mountaineering in that way. However, it does take some strong attributes. Plus, if you don’t know the BEARS you need to buy my hiking course which will be linked to as soon as it is available.

Discipline

It takes strong discipline to hike a mountain every week. Remember, discipline is different that self- discipline. Discipline means understanding what it takes to achieve your goal (the top of the mountain or doing it every week) and being “steadfast” in executing.

Week after week, month after month you climb a mountain. Not the same mountain but a mountain. You always reach the top. That’s discipline!

Perseverance

As Rich Diviney says in “The Attributes,“ “If courage is the ability to effectively move through fear, challenge, and discomfort, then perseverance is the ability to keep doing it over and over.” Hiking week after week fits that description.

Many times you might not even feel like getting out of bed to go hiking. It is nice and warm in your bed and you would like just a little more sleep. But no, you get up and go. Again and again and again!

Narcissism

This attribute drives us to take risks and get noticed. So it helps us achieve our potential. A good thing, right? Well, it is sort of like Goldilocks and The Three Bears. It has to be just right.
Too much narcissism and you become easily offended. You can’t take criticism and your self-esteem is usually low. People will catch on pretty fast and it will be over for you.

Use it when you go hiking to help you set that big goal. A mountain you haven’t climbed or a climbing record for a certain mountain. In any case go hiking!

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Six

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“The Attributes,” by Rich Diviney will teach you a lot about things you thought you already knew. Things that you can use in the fight. There were two examples in the book that took me by surprise. Accountability and Narcissism.

I focus first on these because I found them most interesting. After those I will look at some others.

Accountability

There are twenty-five Attributes in the book, so why start with this one? It is because discovered I was very low in it. I thought I understood what it meant, but then Diviney explained that one of the things that someone who is accountable doesn’t do is be a mediator.

He explains by saying that someone who is a mediator will get an order from the boss and then go tell his subordinates that this is the new order and he doesn’t necessarily agree with it but it is whet the boss wants. That is being a mediator and is bad. You should rather own that order like it was your own.

Narcissism

My first reaction was that you would not want a Narcissist on your team, but I was wrong.

The author points out that everybody has a degree of narcissism in them and a certain amount of it is a good thing. It is only when it gets out of hand that it becomes a negative. You need a decent dose of it to get yourself to take on a challenge. Otherwise you wouldn’t try.

Resilience

The best story in the book is the one about Hank. He lost both his legs in war. When he wakes up in the hospital and realizes he has no legs he says to himself, ”I’m going to be fine. Grab the paper towels.” Apparently his mother had taught him not to cry over spilt milk. He had dropped a bottle of milk and it splattered all over the floor. His mother told him to “Get the paper towels.” That stuck with him.

If you are high in resilience then maybe you would react like Hank. Hank also says, “Getting over the little tragedies in daily life is how you get over the big tragedies.” He says he became resilient before he lost his legs.

Discipline

You probably think you know all about discipline. You read Jocko Willink’s book “Discipline Equals Freedom.” You didn’t, well read it then. Anyway, I thought there was just one kind of discipline, self-discipline. It turns out I was wrong again. Diviney explains that self-discipline is not eating the cookie, overcoming emotions and weaknesses, but discipline is about “accomplishing external goals.”

The other thing is that self-discipline is a skill and discipline is an attribute! As he says, “Discipline is the determined ability to remain focused until goals are accomplished.” That is huge. I never realized the difference for some reason.

Conscientiousness

Ok, this is the last one. I don’t need to re-write the book. However, Diviney tells another story about a man named Chris that displayed this characteristic. It is “an amalgam of traits and behaviors. Persistence, thoroughness, and predictability are key parts of a conscientious personality, as are resourcefulness, energy, and planning.”

Chris was a Navy SEAL going through BUDs. Divine says he volunteered for everything. He was always looking to do more. In his childhood he learned that you should always be looking to help. This carried into adulthood. His philosophy served him in civilian life as well when he became a SWAT team commander. His men figured, “If the boss is always looking for something to do, the theory goes, maybe I should too.”

Remember, there are 25 attributes in the book. Don’t miss ay of them. Read it!

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Five

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Is “Beyond Order” a Bookish Weapon? Of course it is, because in gives you more tools to fight adversity. Most of these tools are concerning how you think about things. They are structured in twelve rules about life.

Let’s look at the first rule in the book which is “Do not Carelessly Denigrate Social Institutions Or Creative Achievement.” Of course Jordan makes a comprehensive argument as to why you should not do this. There are eleven more rules like this. Actually there are many more rules, but you need to read his first book for those.

Rule 1

In this summary of the book I am not going to spend lots of time on each rule, but I think I need to briefly discuss each one. Well, no! So I will just convey what I liked the most about a few of them or the most interesting ideas from my perspective.

The first tidbit I came across was when Peterson says that his experience from years of psychological practice taught him that “people depend on constant communication with others to keep their minds organized.” That observation is fascinating to me since I spend most of my time alone.

The second thing that got my attention was on page nine. He lists a series of questions he asks his clients such as “Do they have friends and a social life? A stable and satisfying intimate partnership?” And on and on. Based on my answers to the questions I am “insufficiently embedded in the interpersonal world and in danger of spiraling downward psychologically because of that.” That was not encouraging.

Rule 2

The second rule is “Imagine Who You Could Be and then Aim Single-Mindedly At That.” Two points noticed. He says, “By accepting life’s suffering therefore evil maybe overcome,” and “That which you most need to find will be found where you least wish to look.” He goes on to discuss Harry Potter and how that whole story fits in to all this.

Finally, he says, “You need to know where you are, or you will not be able to draw a straight line from your starting point to your destination. You need to know where you are going, or you will drown in uncertainty, unpredictability, and chaos, and starve for hope and inspiration.” That really sounds like my life, at least from time to time.

Rule 3

“Do Not Hide Unwanted Things In The Fog.” In this chapter he discusses things like “willful blindness,” and “Failing to look under the bed when you strongly suspect a monster is lurking there is not an advisable strategy.” That is so good!

He talks about what the fog actually is. “You have become distrustful even of hope itself, as your hope has been repeatedly shattered (and that is the very definition of hopelessness). You are afraid of yourself and other people. You are in the fog. “Imagine. More precisely, that you are so afraid that you will not allow yourself even to know what you want.”

Rule 4

“Notice That Opportunity Lurks Where Responsibility Has Been Abdicated.” (Ok, this one and maybe one more rule) Here Peterson discusses Peter Pan. He says that Peter has come to some conclusions like not wanting to grow up. “Better to remain king of the Lost Boys. Better to remain lost in fantasy with Tinkerbell, who provides everything a female partner can provide – except that she doesn’t exist.”

“You must sacrifice something of your manifold potential in exchange for something real in life. Time at something. Discipline yourself. Or suffer the consequence.And what is the consequence? All the suffering in life, with none of the meaning. Is there s better description of hell?”

And what about “willful blindness”mentioned earlier? He says, “It is a terrible temptation, as it allows for the sequestration into the future the trouble we face today. That would are fine if trouble did not compound, like interest – but we all know it does.”

There is so much more. Please read the book!!

Rule 11

Yes, I know, I skipped a bunch of rules, but I am not trying to rewrite the book. Rule eleven is “Do Not Allow Yourself To Become Resentful, Deceitful, or Arrogant.” I have so much underlined here it is hard to choose what to share.

I think this plea summarizes this rule: “Perhaps you could live in a manner who’s nobility, grandeur, and intrinsic meaning would be of sufficient import that you could tolerate the negative elements of existence without becoming so bitter as to transform everything around you into something resembling hell.”

Now, go get the book!

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Four

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Ethan Cross, in his book “Chatter, says that “…we internally talk to ourselves at a rate equivalent to speaking four thousand words per minute out loud.” That is with considering.

We are talking to ourselves so much it is hard to get a word in edgewise! So what does that mean? How do we get a handle on it? This book is a bookish weapon to use on your mind.

Coach or Critic

Cross discusses what he calls the puzzle. “How can the voice that serves as our best coach also be our worst critic?”He discusses why we talk to ourselves if you are interested in that, but our voice is both a coach and a critic. It can be more of one than the other. That depends on how we manage it.

Our brain’s executive function requires all our brain and the negative inner voice reduces what’s available. So, as Cross says, “Verbal rumination concentrates our attention narrowly on the source of our emotional distress, thus stealing neurons that could better serve us. In effect, we jam our executive functions up by attending to a “dual task” – the task of doing whatever it is we want to do and the task of listening to our pained inner voice. Neurologically, that’s how chatter divides and blurs our attention.

What To Do?

This is where Cross gives us some weapons. The first one he calls “zooming out.” It is simply looking at your distress from a distance. Psychological distance helps. He says it “unclouds our verbal stream. “…you could use your mind to frame your problems from a zoomed-out perspective.” So you just see yourself from afar.

This weapon helps you control your emotional reaction. So you are really seeing the “big picture.” I like the question. “Will this matter when I am on my death bed?” That gives you some perspective. He calls this “temporal distancing.”

What Else to Do

There is much more. He recommends one of the four strategies in my book for handling adversity, journaling. He calls it the “power of the pen,” and it provides great psychological consolation.

Also, shift from using “I” to saying your first name or you or he or she “provides a mechanism for gaining emotional distance.”

Challenge or Threat

Mentioned above, using your first name can help you shift something from a threat to a challenge which is what you want. “Research shows that distanced self-talk leads people to consider stressful situations inmate challenge-oriented terms, allowing them to provide more encouraging, “you can do it” advice to themselves, rather than catastrophizing the situation.”

Be careful of dominoes! Our inner voice is like dominoes. One negative thought leads to another. This is because our emotional memories are linked and “governed by principles of “associationism.”

Order

External order will help with internal chaos. Jordan B. Peterson discusses this a great deal when he talks about the importance of “cleaning your room.” You provide order in your external environment to help you with your internal one. It increases our sense of being in control.

As Cross explains how you create order doesn’t even have to have anything to do with what is causing you emotional pain. The author says, “We’re embedded on our physical spaces, and different features of these spaces activate psychological forces inside us, which affect how we think and feel.”

There is so much more in this book to help you master your inner world. Read it!

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Three

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Author Akshay Nanavati has written a bookish weapon without him even realizing it. That’s ok. What a bookish weapon it is! In his introduction this former Marine sets the tone for the book. He says, “we all do the best we can with the level of skills, abilities, knowledge and awareness we possess at any given time.” He credits Jack Canfield for this, but follows it up by saying, “Any time you might be feeling confused, lost, or scared, it is not your fault.” Akshay also hikes! Actually he is a mountaineer which is far more impressive.

What is “Fearvana?” It is when you feel the fear or anxiety, then take action and you succeed. He give es the example of getting all nervous and afraid before going on stage, but then running out onto the stage and knocking it out of the park. That’s Fearvana.

Why Do We Do The Things We Do?

This is the title of chapter two. In it the author describes seven reasons for our actions. A couple of these stood out to me, but you should read the book because the others are important too.

The two that I enjoyed were “The Law of Love and Hate,” and “The Top-of-Mind Rule.” The first is a name he gives the filter of our animal brain. “It states that our gut feelings of love and hate determiner decisions and our views of the world.” The second is explained this way: “The easier it is to recall something from memory, the more likely our brain deems it important or commonplace…Whatever is on top of your mind is more likely to have an impact on your perception of reality.”So what can you do about all this? Akshay says, “By utilizing your human brain to make conscious decisions, you can literally change the physical structure and functions of your animal brain. Your cognitive biases won’t disappear, but you can change the way they operate for you.”

Real Freedom

The author believes that our only real freedom consists of our “ability to separate ourselves from suffering to create our own empowering reality.” So he says, “..it does not matter what you might be struggling with or how it might compare to other people’s suffering. Don’t waste your time and energy in the destructive downward spiral of second dart syndrome.” And what is the “second dart syndrome?” It is from Buddhist philosophy that says when we experience pain or suffering, it is the result of two darts. “First darts are the ones beyond our control…Second darts are the manner in which we react and respond to the first ones.”

It is all internal. “What we do inside our minds, the conversation we have with ourselves, that is what shapes our reality. Our mindset determines how much we suffer.You have the power and the freedom to choose how you interpret the world. That interpretation will control the quality of your life. If you don’t exercise this freedom, your brain will create its own interpretations without your awareness.”

LMNOP

Easy to remember, right? I liked it too. Of course, each of those letters stand for something. When something negative happens and you feel an emotion use these. L-label and language. Label the emotion to release yourself from the impact. M-Find the meaning you have attached to the event or emotion. You control the meaning. N – It’s not you. It’s your brain. You are just stuck in a pattern. “It is not who you are.” I guess N is for “Not.” O – Opt out for a more empowering meaning. Give the emotion or event or both a new meaning, P- Purpose and Preemptive strikes. The important thing in this step is to the action . Do something different the before. It builds new brain patterns.

LMNOP is a great tool for helping you get past an experience or emotion.

Changing Your Past Memory

He discusses how to change a past negative memory. Get yourself in a positive state, and then “going into you past, you can change the effect the past has on you today.” This was most interesting. This is all under a section called. “Your Past Is A Lie.” You need to do this in a six hour window. So “to change the past we need to activate a memory from an optimistic present state and modify it within six hours. Your past helped shape the fears that keep you imprisoned in your present, so altering your memories is often a necessary step to move from fear to Fearvana.”

Get the book for the complete process.

Positive Suffering

That’s my title. The author talks a lot about suffering and says, “Unending bliss awaits us within the simplicity of going to war with ourselves.” He says, “…people with high levels of stress without depression are some of the happiest people in the world. They are also the people who are most likely to view their lives as meaningful.” He stresses the need to prime your subconscious mind to embrace struggle.

I like what he suggests when you face a challenge. He says to ask, “What is fun about this? How can I make this enjoyable?” “Visualizing the process of struggle, as opposed to the outcome on the other side of it, better prepares you to overcome the struggle.”

That’s a quick look at the book. I didn’t even tewl you about the section entitled “The Most Important Habit Of All.” Get the book and read about it!

Go Hiking Because The Discipline Will Equal Freedom

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Hiking every weekend takes discipline. There are some weekends when I would rather stay home in bed. However, once I am on the trail I feel completely free.

That makes sense. Once you take action you set things in motion and it changes your brain.

Before

This is the time when it feels better to stay in bed. It is when you need to use Jocko’s “Binary Code.” Yes or No! Get out of bed or don’t get out of bed. If you are disciplined you will get out of bed. Your mind will tell you it’s cold, it will be wet, you will be miserable. Not only that but your knees are hurting and you should probably rest them.

It doesn’t end there. If you are old like me then your mind really has become good at messing with you. If the little adversary in my mind is feeling particularly strong it might tell me I’m too old to go hiking. It might ask me why someone my age is doing something that only younger people should do.

During

The battle doesn’t end just because you were able to get out of bed and get ready. No. You get to the trailhead and it is pouring down rain or snow. You sit in your car and the mind starts asking those questions again. What do you think your thing to prove? Who are you trying to impress? Who do you think you are? Why would a reasonable person go get wet on purpose?

But you overcome that. You turn off that part of your mind. You get out of the car, put your pack on your back and move! It is slightly easier now. You have taken another action. But it is hard at first. Just getting going, but it gets easier and easier mentally.

After

No matter how convinced you were you had no business climbing a mountain that day, when it is all over and you jog your last 100 yards down the trail, you have such a feeling of accomplishment and freedom it is hard to describe.

After you have changed back into your street shoes, taken off your pack, and settled into the driver’s seat the sensation hits you that you have done more by 8:00 AM than most people will do all day. So be disciplined about it and go regularly in the rain and in the snow.