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Attacking Adversity

Go Hiking And Build Your Best Life

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Hiking for me is the best part of living the life I want. Being in nature, challenging my body, moving. If you hike you know it can become an important part of your life.

At 78 I ask myself, “Will I be able to do it this next March?” Right now I am not so sure, but I will know better in February.

An Alternative

So what if you can’t hike anymore? You have some disease or a heart condition and the doctor says you can’t stress yourself that much. I am not so naive to think that I will never not be able to climb mountains, but I prefer it be at least after my 85th year. Only six and a half years to go with this going wrong and that going wrong.

Let’s say you are 86 and you just van’t get the body up the mountain again. What is an alternative. You start walking up the hills where you live. You can even walk for a longer time because you are not driving to a trailhead. Of course you will be hitting the gym as usual, right?

Building the Life You Want

Maybe you are in your 40s and just started hiking. This is when you can make it a habit. Hiking will become like brushing your teeth. You will make sure your career doesn’t get in the way. Only take the job if you will have time to hike.

Hiking becomes a part of your identity. It is a big part of who you are. Or maybe you will become a trail runner or a rock climber. Nothing wrong with those except I think hiking is best.

Always Anticipating

This time of year when I am on my winter break from hiking I begin to anticipate the next season. What challenges will I face? Will I see another UFO (UAP)? Will I be able to climb Mt Si twice in one morning again? Do I even want to do it. What about Mailbox Peak?

This next season Mt Pilchuck will reopen. They were fixing the potholes on the road to the trailhead so seeing the results of that will be interesting.

Bookish Weapon Number Seventy-Three

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Arthur Brooks has written a book that not only includes useful advice but I really like the cover which includes mountains and someone (I imagine it is me) standing on top of one.

What better backdrop to a book entitled “Build The Life You Want.” With the mountains on the cover he didn’t even need a subtitle.

Happier

Brooks is a “happiness” researcher. He knows all about it and says although you can’t “be happy” you can be “happier.” That’s good. Brooks says everyone thinks the can be happy but their circumstances are keeping them stuck in unhappiness.

He goes to say happiness is not a destination but rather a direction. He says, “You can get happier, even if you have problems. You can even get happier in some cases because you have problems.” I like that a lot.

What is it?

First Brooks discusses what Epictetus, Stoic philosopher thought about happiness or its definition. He said he “believed happine ss comes from fining life’s purpose, accepting one’s fate and behaving morally regardless of personal cost.”

In nutrition experts talk about macronutrients and micronutrients. Well, Brooks says there are three macronutrients that you need in abundance in your life: enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose. And points out that all three have some “unhappiness” in them. For example satisfaction requires sacrifice. “…when we are sad or angry about something, we may be more likely to fix it.”Then he gives you a test of sorts where you determine “your unique mix of happiness and unhappiness.” Then he labels you a cheerleader, a mad scientist, a judge or a poet. Read the book and find out what you are!

And So

To much good feeling is sometimes not so good because you don’t see a threat. It is better to have a mix. Brooks says, “The secret to the best life is to accept your unhappiness (so you can learned grow) and manage the feelings that result.” Oprah says, “Feel the feel then take the wheel.”

What you need is metacognition. An example is counting to ten when your angry. The folks at Heroic would call this reactive discipline. Brooks says it gives your prefrontal cortex time to catch up to your limbic system. Take thirty seconds to imagine what the consequences will be if you day what you are thinking of saying.

Tools

If you can’t change things change how you are experiencing them. If you ruminate, blame yourself, take drugs or alcohol it is not productive. Those things can make everything worse. Like Jordan B. Peterson is fond of saying, “No matter how bad things are you can always make them worse.” So how do you handle it? Metacognition!

I think the author says it better than I can paraphrase: “Metacognition offers a better, healthier, and more permanent solution. Consider the emotions that your circumstances are stimulating in you. Observe them as if they’re happening to someone else, and accept them. Write them down to make sure they are completely conscious. Then consider how you can choose reactions not based on your negative emotions, but rather based on the outcomes you prefer in your life.”

There is an entire section on happiness at work and a chapter in faith and mindfulness. He finally urges you to teach what you learned from the book and this short piece is my attempt to do that.

Go Hiking And Do Some Men’s Work

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It’s Sunday and of course that means I climbed a mountain this morning. I think I might have seen more women on the mountain this morning than men. Not sure!

As usual I begin my climbs very early in the morning so when I am coming down the mountain I see all the people coming up. I often wonder how the top of the mountain accommodates all those people. I am going to find out next week.

Doubles

Yes, on the 14th of May, two months before my 78th birthday I will attempt to climb Mt Si twice in the same morning. I think it might bleed into the early afternoon. On the other hand there is always a chance that I will collapse.

Have gone so far as to arrange to take Monday off of work (yes, I still work). That will give me some time to recover or get in and out of the hospital. Five months ago I had knee surgery. I would like to say it has completely healed but I would be lying.

It’s Nothing or Is It Something

It might seem like a pretty big deal for an old guy my age to do something like this, but I am reminded of Bronco Sundstrom who at age 77 summited Mt Rainier. The little mountain I will be climbing twice is just 4000 ft not over 14,000 ft. If I recall correctly she continued to climb it for many years. So doing doubles on Mt Si is nothing really own the bigger picture.

However, for me it will be a huge challenge. It is s supposed to be hot that weekend so that will present more of a challenge. The other thing is I have never done it before. No, not even when I was younger.

Bookish Weapon Number Seventy-Two

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This book’s subtitle is presented as a “Practical Guide” to face your darkness, end self-sabotage and find freedom. Sounds like a real bookish weapon to me, but then I am bias about bookish weapons.

Connor Beaton’s book makes you think. A lot. So much so he encourages you to get involved with a mens group so you can think about the tops together. After all there is strength in numbers and you are going to need a lot of strength to get through this one.

What Kind of Men?

The men who Connor says need this the most are men that has been abused, abused others, or who are hurting or have been hurt. A man that has hurt others or is hurting others. That covers it.

“A man that avoids his pain is a man that is enslaved by it,” say Beaton. Men are taught to suck it up, stuff it down, pour whiskey on it. Rinse and repeat.

Pain

“Most men simply haven’t been taught how to deal with their pain and use it to become something better,” says Beaton. “In fact, I began to see that not only have most men not been given the tools and resources to deal with the pain and suffering in their lives, but we as men are actively taught the opposite – the idiotic tactic of constant emotional avoidance. Not only this but our emotional avoidance is seen as a theoretical and rational strength in certain circles.” You get the general slant to the book. He says it is for men who wish to integrate their darkness so they are not so controlled by it.

He discusses how to integrate your “shadow.” Phil Stutz has spoken a lot about the shadow so some of you may be familiar with the term. It is the dark side. So this book helps you “to face your shadow and own all you have neglected, ignored and avoided.” Sounds like a big order, but Beaton says there are two pillars to man’s work, “a magnetic pull towards freedom, and the deep yearning to lead ourselves effectively, with passion, respect and fulfillment.” Then he says, “The shadow, especially within the male culture, has become a storehouse of repressed, hidden, and rejected pain.”

One Rule

Beaton refers to the “one rule of men” which is, “Don’t talk about what it’s like to be a man that is struggling.” Stuff it.Suck it up.

For some reason I have not experienced what he is talking about. I tell everybody my problems. That is my shortcoming.

Isolation

This is my other shortcoming. Beaton says, “Isolation makes a man impotent.” Well, that explains a lot for me! He goes on to say isolation creates hopeless and controlling men. He says that “…the inevitable impact of isolation is the amplification of pre-existing conditions, behaviors, thought patterns, emotions, and fears.” And, “When you isolate, you are left with nothing but your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and coping mechanisms – letting them spin outing larger, more robust, and more concrete illusions. Anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, and the coping mechanisms used to deal with these experiences are all amplified when you isolate from others or attempt to mask your own truth or desires.”

Isolation is built to either protect or punish says Beaton. A lot to think about.

The Father and Mother

I could rewrite the book, but let me just say that your mother and father have a lot to do with who you are now. Of course many men have processed this and at least understand it. If you read this section of the book you will most likely learn more than you thought you knew.

The “big ideas,” as Brian Johnson likes to discuss in his Philosopher Notes are asking yourself questions about how your father showed up in your life or not. Also, his pain. Then Beaton asks a lot of questions about your pain and how to turn your pain into purpose. The next idea that is discussed is the “shadow of the mother.” For example, Beaton says, “ A man who had a good experience with his mother, maybe too good, can become very effeminate in nature, be preyed upon or taken advantage of by women, and will usually struggle to cope with or want to face the hardships of life. These men are prone to reflecting and thinking about life so much that they struggle to live it fully.”

Your Anger

Beaton says to embrace it. This is a good discussion of how men relate to their anger. I personally am working on getting better at Reactive Discipline which is giving something some time before reacting. Beaton says, “Your activity is a neon sign pointing toward your shadow.” “Defensiveness, passive-aggression, feeling hopeless, shutting down, or aggressively criticizing are all examples of reactivity.”

So get a grip on your anger guys!

One Last Thing

I have spent a good deal of my life in personal development so when I read the following it got my attention:

“The hidden truth about your personal development, or personal growth, is that it is equally a practice in personal death.” If you want to read more of this sort of thing get the book and read it.

Bookish Weapon Number Seventy-One

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David Goggin’s new book Never Finished is a real bookish weapon! His mindset is outstanding and his ability to withstand pain is unmatched. If you read his first book, “Can’t Hurt Me,” you will have a good sense of what this new book is about, but it surprised me a bit.

Goggins tells how he took endurance and the never give up mindset to a new level. I can’t imagine anyone who would not be inspired by this man’s ability to keep going.

Your Past

Goggins had a horrible childhood, but he eventually overcame that to become a Navy SEAL and then later an endurance athlete. He asks others with difficult pasts to step up, He asks, “How long will you allow your past to hold you back before you finally take control of your future?”

Many of us have faced difficult times. Goggins says, “It is so easy to get lost in the fog of life. Tragedy hunts us all, and any event that causes suffering will linger longer than it should if you let it. Because our sad stories enable us to grade ourselves on a forgiving curve. They give us latitude and justification to stay lazy, weak-minded m******s, and the longer it takes for us to process thsa pan, the harder it is to reclaim our lives.” Now that’s a wake up cal some of us need!

Step Up – The Clock is Ticking

We only have so much time. As Goggin’s says, “…there is a drop-dead time on everything we do in life. All our dreams and visions come with expiration dates etched in invisible ink.”

Some of us are reminded of our death all the time after we get to a certain age. It is popular these days to tell young people to remind themselves to create urgency. Older people are reminded wether they want to be or not. Goggins has been reminded a lot. Once he had to have his heart shocked back to working order. There is a picture of him lying in a hospital bed waiting for the paddles.

Journaling

In my book “Attacking Adversity,” journaling is one of the key strategies I recommend. It helped get me through a very tough time. Goggins says there is another level to journaling. He recommends you make audio recordings and then listen back. He says they have a “more profound effect on the mind.” It is something I may try.

He is not saying to just record your daily thoughts, but rather your deepest trauma. Canyou imagine that? Goggins claims thst, “With each subsequent listen, you will claim more sindmoer power and gain enough transformational energy to change your life.”

Our Mental Lab

Goggins says we all have a Mental Lab where we can recreate ourselves. He says, “If you don’t feel like you are good enough, if your life lacks meaning and time feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, there is only one option. Recreate yourself in your own Mental Lab. Somewhere you can be alone with your thoughts and wrestle with the substance of what and who you wasn’t to be in your one short life earth.” David crested “Goggins.”

He describes a race called the Moab 240. Yes that is a 240 mile race. Then he also discusses the Leadville Trail 100 which has an elevation gain of 15,000 feet or more. That caught my attention since typically I hike 6-10K and it wipes me out.

Get the Book

There is so much on mindset in this book I could never do it justice here, but get it and read the whole thing. You will be glad you did.

You will also read about all the injuries David suffered and how he bounced back. Those stories by themselves are worth the read.

Go Hiking But Have A Plan B

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As I write this I am wearing a leg brace. This last Tuesday I had knee surgery. Hiking starts in March and I think I should be good to go by then, but if for some reason I am not then I will need a Plan B.

If you can afford it get Stem Cell therapy or at least investigate before you do what I did. It is my understanding you can get Stem Cell therapy for about $6,000 a knee. Insurance does not pay for it so that was not an option for me.

No Hike. Then What?

If the result of this knee surgery means hiking is in my rear window it’s ok. I know I will be able to walk because I can do that even with the leg brace. But there is no way to tell at this point. My first option would be to do what I did when they closed the trails during the Pandemic shut down. Walk. A lot.

However, this experience got me thinking what if I could really barely walk or something else happened to me physically. I mean what could possibly happen physically to an almost eighty year old man? What would I do? Well, I play guitar so I would play guitar. I write. So I would write more. I like to read so I would read more. That would be my Plan B.

Trust and Belief

The thing is I don’t want to have to use Plan B. I want to hike starting March 2023. Lots of people say they are going to go with me up some of these mountains and I don’t want to disappoint them.

Recently, I heard a motivational speaker say that one of the important things you need when facing any adversity is trust and belief. Trust that it will all work out for the best and belief that it will. That is what I am counting on. But you don’t have to wait for me to get better. Go hiking!