It has been some time since I have done any book reviews here, but that will be changing.
Also, hiking season is almost here so more pictures. I will be turning 80 in a few months so it should be exciting.
Bookish Weapon Number Seventy-Three
Arthur Brooks has written a book that not only includes useful advice but I really like the cover which includes mountains and someone (I imagine it is me) standing on top of one.
What better backdrop to a book entitled “Build The Life You Want.” With the mountains on the cover he didn’t even need a subtitle.
Happier
Brooks is a “happiness” researcher. He knows all about it and says although you can’t “be happy” you can be “happier.” That’s good. Brooks says everyone thinks the can be happy but their circumstances are keeping them stuck in unhappiness.
He goes to say happiness is not a destination but rather a direction. He says, “You can get happier, even if you have problems. You can even get happier in some cases because you have problems.” I like that a lot.
What is it?
First Brooks discusses what Epictetus, Stoic philosopher thought about happiness or its definition. He said he “believed happine ss comes from fining life’s purpose, accepting one’s fate and behaving morally regardless of personal cost.”
In nutrition experts talk about macronutrients and micronutrients. Well, Brooks says there are three macronutrients that you need in abundance in your life: enjoyment, satisfaction and purpose. And points out that all three have some “unhappiness” in them. For example satisfaction requires sacrifice. “…when we are sad or angry about something, we may be more likely to fix it.”Then he gives you a test of sorts where you determine “your unique mix of happiness and unhappiness.” Then he labels you a cheerleader, a mad scientist, a judge or a poet. Read the book and find out what you are!
And So
To much good feeling is sometimes not so good because you don’t see a threat. It is better to have a mix. Brooks says, “The secret to the best life is to accept your unhappiness (so you can learned grow) and manage the feelings that result.” Oprah says, “Feel the feel then take the wheel.”
What you need is metacognition. An example is counting to ten when your angry. The folks at Heroic would call this reactive discipline. Brooks says it gives your prefrontal cortex time to catch up to your limbic system. Take thirty seconds to imagine what the consequences will be if you day what you are thinking of saying.
Tools
If you can’t change things change how you are experiencing them. If you ruminate, blame yourself, take drugs or alcohol it is not productive. Those things can make everything worse. Like Jordan B. Peterson is fond of saying, “No matter how bad things are you can always make them worse.” So how do you handle it? Metacognition!
I think the author says it better than I can paraphrase: “Metacognition offers a better, healthier, and more permanent solution. Consider the emotions that your circumstances are stimulating in you. Observe them as if they’re happening to someone else, and accept them. Write them down to make sure they are completely conscious. Then consider how you can choose reactions not based on your negative emotions, but rather based on the outcomes you prefer in your life.”
There is an entire section on happiness at work and a chapter in faith and mindfulness. He finally urges you to teach what you learned from the book and this short piece is my attempt to do that.
Bookish Weapon Number Seventy-Two
This book’s subtitle is presented as a “Practical Guide” to face your darkness, end self-sabotage and find freedom. Sounds like a real bookish weapon to me, but then I am bias about bookish weapons.
Connor Beaton’s book makes you think. A lot. So much so he encourages you to get involved with a mens group so you can think about the tops together. After all there is strength in numbers and you are going to need a lot of strength to get through this one.
What Kind of Men?
The men who Connor says need this the most are men that has been abused, abused others, or who are hurting or have been hurt. A man that has hurt others or is hurting others. That covers it.
“A man that avoids his pain is a man that is enslaved by it,” say Beaton. Men are taught to suck it up, stuff it down, pour whiskey on it. Rinse and repeat.
Pain
“Most men simply haven’t been taught how to deal with their pain and use it to become something better,” says Beaton. “In fact, I began to see that not only have most men not been given the tools and resources to deal with the pain and suffering in their lives, but we as men are actively taught the opposite – the idiotic tactic of constant emotional avoidance. Not only this but our emotional avoidance is seen as a theoretical and rational strength in certain circles.” You get the general slant to the book. He says it is for men who wish to integrate their darkness so they are not so controlled by it.
He discusses how to integrate your “shadow.” Phil Stutz has spoken a lot about the shadow so some of you may be familiar with the term. It is the dark side. So this book helps you “to face your shadow and own all you have neglected, ignored and avoided.” Sounds like a big order, but Beaton says there are two pillars to man’s work, “a magnetic pull towards freedom, and the deep yearning to lead ourselves effectively, with passion, respect and fulfillment.” Then he says, “The shadow, especially within the male culture, has become a storehouse of repressed, hidden, and rejected pain.”
One Rule
Beaton refers to the “one rule of men” which is, “Don’t talk about what it’s like to be a man that is struggling.” Stuff it.Suck it up.
For some reason I have not experienced what he is talking about. I tell everybody my problems. That is my shortcoming.
Isolation
This is my other shortcoming. Beaton says, “Isolation makes a man impotent.” Well, that explains a lot for me! He goes on to say isolation creates hopeless and controlling men. He says that “…the inevitable impact of isolation is the amplification of pre-existing conditions, behaviors, thought patterns, emotions, and fears.” And, “When you isolate, you are left with nothing but your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and coping mechanisms – letting them spin outing larger, more robust, and more concrete illusions. Anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, and the coping mechanisms used to deal with these experiences are all amplified when you isolate from others or attempt to mask your own truth or desires.”
Isolation is built to either protect or punish says Beaton. A lot to think about.
The Father and Mother
I could rewrite the book, but let me just say that your mother and father have a lot to do with who you are now. Of course many men have processed this and at least understand it. If you read this section of the book you will most likely learn more than you thought you knew.
The “big ideas,” as Brian Johnson likes to discuss in his Philosopher Notes are asking yourself questions about how your father showed up in your life or not. Also, his pain. Then Beaton asks a lot of questions about your pain and how to turn your pain into purpose. The next idea that is discussed is the “shadow of the mother.” For example, Beaton says, “ A man who had a good experience with his mother, maybe too good, can become very effeminate in nature, be preyed upon or taken advantage of by women, and will usually struggle to cope with or want to face the hardships of life. These men are prone to reflecting and thinking about life so much that they struggle to live it fully.”
Your Anger
Beaton says to embrace it. This is a good discussion of how men relate to their anger. I personally am working on getting better at Reactive Discipline which is giving something some time before reacting. Beaton says, “Your activity is a neon sign pointing toward your shadow.” “Defensiveness, passive-aggression, feeling hopeless, shutting down, or aggressively criticizing are all examples of reactivity.”
So get a grip on your anger guys!
One Last Thing
I have spent a good deal of my life in personal development so when I read the following it got my attention:
“The hidden truth about your personal development, or personal growth, is that it is equally a practice in personal death.” If you want to read more of this sort of thing get the book and read it.
Bookish Weapon Number Seventy-One
David Goggin’s new book Never Finished is a real bookish weapon! His mindset is outstanding and his ability to withstand pain is unmatched. If you read his first book, “Can’t Hurt Me,” you will have a good sense of what this new book is about, but it surprised me a bit.
Goggins tells how he took endurance and the never give up mindset to a new level. I can’t imagine anyone who would not be inspired by this man’s ability to keep going.
Your Past
Goggins had a horrible childhood, but he eventually overcame that to become a Navy SEAL and then later an endurance athlete. He asks others with difficult pasts to step up, He asks, “How long will you allow your past to hold you back before you finally take control of your future?”
Many of us have faced difficult times. Goggins says, “It is so easy to get lost in the fog of life. Tragedy hunts us all, and any event that causes suffering will linger longer than it should if you let it. Because our sad stories enable us to grade ourselves on a forgiving curve. They give us latitude and justification to stay lazy, weak-minded m******s, and the longer it takes for us to process thsa pan, the harder it is to reclaim our lives.” Now that’s a wake up cal some of us need!
Step Up – The Clock is Ticking
We only have so much time. As Goggin’s says, “…there is a drop-dead time on everything we do in life. All our dreams and visions come with expiration dates etched in invisible ink.”
Some of us are reminded of our death all the time after we get to a certain age. It is popular these days to tell young people to remind themselves to create urgency. Older people are reminded wether they want to be or not. Goggins has been reminded a lot. Once he had to have his heart shocked back to working order. There is a picture of him lying in a hospital bed waiting for the paddles.
Journaling
In my book “Attacking Adversity,” journaling is one of the key strategies I recommend. It helped get me through a very tough time. Goggins says there is another level to journaling. He recommends you make audio recordings and then listen back. He says they have a “more profound effect on the mind.” It is something I may try.
He is not saying to just record your daily thoughts, but rather your deepest trauma. Canyou imagine that? Goggins claims thst, “With each subsequent listen, you will claim more sindmoer power and gain enough transformational energy to change your life.”
Our Mental Lab
Goggins says we all have a Mental Lab where we can recreate ourselves. He says, “If you don’t feel like you are good enough, if your life lacks meaning and time feels like it’s slipping through your fingers, there is only one option. Recreate yourself in your own Mental Lab. Somewhere you can be alone with your thoughts and wrestle with the substance of what and who you wasn’t to be in your one short life earth.” David crested “Goggins.”
He describes a race called the Moab 240. Yes that is a 240 mile race. Then he also discusses the Leadville Trail 100 which has an elevation gain of 15,000 feet or more. That caught my attention since typically I hike 6-10K and it wipes me out.
Get the Book
There is so much on mindset in this book I could never do it justice here, but get it and read the whole thing. You will be glad you did.
You will also read about all the injuries David suffered and how he bounced back. Those stories by themselves are worth the read.
Bookish Weapon Number Seventy
One of my earlier book summaries was of a Lee Child book. It was, of course, a Jack Reacher book. Reacher is the hero I like to experience every Fall when the new book arrives. I have read all of Mr. Child’s books. Now he is writing them with his son, Andrew. I can’t really tell the difference. Reacher books are all bookish weapons. He is lethal.
This latest book is called, “No Plan B.” Reacher is former military police and I thought the military always had a plan B and C. I know the axiom that one of something is none, but two of something is one. That kind of planning seems t require a plan B. However, if this case it is the evil bad guys that don’t have a plan B. When you are up against Reacher with no plan B you don’t have a chance.
Bus or Hitch a Ride
The beginning of this book is on the bad guys turf. It sort of describes a little of their set up and the book goes back and forth between what the bad guys are doing and what Reacher and friends are doing. This book has reacher thumbing a ride prior to arriving in the town where some bad stuff happens. In other books he will be riding a bus. The bus is not left out of the action. Another character has lots of interaction with a bus.
A Curiosity
The reasons for Reacher visiting a particular town are varied and interesting. This time he was curious about the towns Museum or what it contained. They were some artifacts from the Civil war. In any event it puts Reacher right where he needs to be to meet a woman and later get into action.
He stays in the Museum until it closes and then meets the woman because she is the one that has to force him to leave. And a way we go.
What Is The Limit?
When I read Reacher books and he gets into his first battle, I always wonder what his limit might be. How many bad guys can he handle at once. I think it is six if their skill levels are low, but fewer than that if they are professionals.
In this book he actually takes a bit of a beat down but only temporary. If you are a Reacher fan then you know (in spite of the Tom Cruise movie) that he is a huge man with Tony Robbins hands. I say Tony Robbin’s hands, because I shook one once and my hand disappeared like it was swallowed by a whale.
The Whole Story
No I am not going to spoil this thriller for you by telling you every little thing. Just enough to motivate you to try a Reacher book if you haven’t so far. It is well worth it.
Even though the title is “No Plan B,” make sure YOU always have plan B and maybe C as well.
Bookish Weapon Number 69
Cameron Hanes runs up mountains to train himself to be the best bowhunter in the world. He likes to hunt far away from the typical hunting grounds in places that are hard to reach unless you’re in his kind of physical shape.
His book “Endure” captures his story which is a great one and one that continues. I was drawn to the title, because I though my word for this year was “endure.” There was one other box with the same name, but Cam’s subtitle included the words “keep hammering” and that spoke to me.
Focus
The thing that stood out for me right away was the intense focus this man has put on one thing, hunting. Maybe two. Hunting and training to hunt.
To some, running 100 mile races might seem over the top, but not for Hanes. He knows they give him the edge he needs to be a successful hunter year after year. It all provides meaning and purpose to his life.
Learn From Cameron
There are lots of excellent lessons in this book like how not to let your critics get to you. How to learn from others and how to “burst through the bonds of low expectations.”
He stresses the importance of believing in yourself and being obsessed with improvement. He thinks that obsession in successful people is not because they think they are great, but because they really think they are not that great at all and need to improve!
Get Used to Being Uncomfortable
This book is about what I have learned to be expansive discipline which is putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. They induce growth. Cam says that “My good friend Misery and I have become real close over the years.
Now remember this not about being yourself up for the sake of beating yourself up. Hanes has a purpose and a mission. Getting used to being uncomfortable helps him hit the mark time and time again.
Greatness
Cameron Hanes believes in you and me. He says, “The good news is I believe each and every one of us is capable of greatness in something. He continues, by saying, “Your bowhunting is out there. I promise. It will open doors for yours well. But be warned: when you become obsessed, it takes over your life. This obsessive approach works for me.”
What’s it going to take. You might have guessed it. Hard work or as Cam says, “…damn hard work.”
Your Body
Frankly I can’t say it better than Cameron Hanes, “Your body gives what you ask of it. Don’t ask much and it won’t give you much. Ask a lot and it will give you a lot. I haven’t found my limit yet, but I am trying.”
This book is very inspirational especially for those who want to strengthen themselves. He talks about putting his body through the wringer. However, he might disagree with me when I say you do need some rest from time to time. Even then your main focus must be to “keep hammering!”
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