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Attacking Adversity

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-Eight

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Daniel H. Pink has written a book called, “The Power of Regret.” If you are like me, I bet you didn’t think there was anything good about regret. I think we are right if regret is isolated.

Pink argues that you can use regret to make your future and present life better. That made sense to me. Frank Sinatra acknowledged regret in “My Way,” He sang that he had a few, but they didn’t seem to bother him much. Maybe he knew what Pink has discovered.

Studies

For those of you who are data lovers, Pink has more than enough studies and experiments to satisfy you.

One I thought was particularly interesting had to do with Optimizers and Satisfiers. Researchers fund that people who maximized for everything were less happy and had significantly more depression that the ones that satisfied themselves. An optimizer had to have the very best choice. The satisfiers were just that. The maximizers had more sensitivity to regret.

Foundation Regrets

Pink tells us there are four primary types of regrets and the first one is foundation regret. These are major regrets. Not making good financial decisions. For example, not saving enough for retirement which is just overspending and under saving.

It could be in the realm of education. Maybe you don’t go for the advanced degree or you left school early. It could also involve your health. Maybe you haven’t taken are of yourself.

Boldness Regrets

These are the chances we never took. Pink says, “What haunts us is the inaction itself.” You had a chance to travel the world, but you turned it down. Maybe you didn’t even enter that contest. You know, the one that could have shined a light on your talent.

One of my own regrets in this area was not taking a promotion early in my sales career. It involved moving to another state and I convinced myself it was better for my family if I said no.

Moral Regrets

You cheated on your spouse. You cheated on a test. As Pink says, …”the realm in which they occur…is less significant than the act itself.

The other thing we do is rationalize these moral infractions so we don’t always notice them right away. It might be years later before they grab us around the neck.

Connection Regrets

Pink says, “Our actions give our lives direction. But other people give those lives purpose. A massive number of human regrets stem from our failure to recognize and honor this principle.

Personally, I can include divorce here. Maybe you just never pursued the woman you really loved. I suppose the could be a boldness regret, but connection as well.

Regret Optimization Framework

As I mentioned above Pink’s book helps you use regret to get better. This framework helps you do that. Pink explains, “The Regret Optimization Framework holds that we should devote time and effort to anticipate the four core regrets: foundation regrets, boldness regrets, moral regrets, and connection regrets. But anticipating regrets outside these four categories is usually not worthwhile.” (Boldness mine)

So ask yourself if you are dealing with one of the big four. If you are not then “satisfice.”This is the word Pink uses to describer the actions of satisfiers mentioned above.

Get the book for all the other goodness!

Go Hiking And Be A Hero On A Mission

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How many of you use a Garmin or a Whoop or a Fitbit or and Oura Ring to track everything? Two out of the three track you steps, all track your sleep, and two your recovery from exercise. Everything! So you can look at the in the morning and get a good idea about how much you can push yourself that day.

Last Sunday morning my “devices” all said I was a mess. Now I could have used that as an excuse to skip the hike altogether or maybe just “stroll” up the mountain. However, if you are depleted and you push yourself the upside is that it can improve fitness.

Hero

Still, what do you do? I decided to take on the challenge and push myself like never before (at least not recently) and I beat my recent records to the top. After all, I was a Hero on a mission. A mission to get to the top of the mountain.

Did I mention how much my legs hurt when I was running the trail? They hurt! But the challenge was exciting and getting to the top of a mountain is meaningful.

No Trekking Poles

I recommend everyone uses trekking poles, especially when they come down a mountain, because it will save your knees long term. In fact my knees were so bad in the past that I could not get down a mountain without them.

However, one of the devices mentioned above does not count your steps correctly when you use trekking poles. So Decided that I would climb up and down without them. The difference in number of steps was 15,000!!. Yeah, kinda nuts.

Do It Again

When I would make a sale in the past one of my favorite sales managers would tell me, “Good job. Now do it again.” It is the same when you climb mountains. You may have done a good job this week, but now it is your responsibility to keep executing.

Did you go hiking last week? Did you beat your personal record to the top? Then do it again!

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-Seven

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“Hero On A Mission,” is one of the better books I have re-read recently again and it was just published this year. It is a book about purpose and story. Your and my story!

Did you know you were involved in a story? Has your story lost your interest? These are questions the author asks of us and he gives excellent advice.

Our Stories

On a page even before the introduction Miller states, “I don’t think any of us should trust fate to write the story of our lives. Fate is a terrible writer.

We are all in stories and they have characters in them just like all stories. There is the victim, the villain, the hero and the guide. Do you recognize any of these in your life?

Control

In self help books you can read a lot about how you should focus on what you can control and ignore the rest. So how much can you control? Miller makes the argument that “…a human being has a ridiculous amount of personal agency. A person’s reaction to a set of circumstances dramatically affects how their story plays out.”

He goes on and says, “The character who becomes the victim believes they are helpless and acts out of that belief. The character who becomes the hero accepts their agency and rises up against their circumstances.” How does this speak to your life?

Accomplish Something Important

Miller says that what we all need to do is “…throw yourself into a story in which you try to accomplish something important.”

He goes on to say, “If we don’t want something, face our challenges, and try hard things, our life stories don’t work either.” You can just “dream up” a story for yourself and live “like a hero on a mission.” Miller says you have to sit and think about everything you have overcome in your life to realize your strength.

Want Something

The author says we need to want something! He says many have killed their desire and any story needs to be about a character who wants something.

He says, “When you define specific destination for your life, your story will begin to take shape and you’ll become more interested in your own life.” “Discipline is a good bit easier to come by if you have narrative traction in your life.” So he asks, “What is the thing you just have to do?

What If

I loved this little exercise. He says to ask yourself, “What if?” Simple, right? What if I sold everything and moved to Portugal? What if I quit my job? He says “what if” leads to adventure.

He uses what if questions when he writes books and gets stuck, but he says, “Asking What if can drive incredible change in your life and give you a terrific reason to get out of bed in the morning.”

Narrative

Miller says “narrative traction” is “the feeling that our personal story is so interesting we can’t turn away.” You could even join an existing mission!

Questions to ask yourself once you start to build your life plan include: “What will you build? What story will you join? What could your life look like one year, five years, and ten years from now?

So that’s the first half of the book. The second half is how to set up a plan for your life. Get the book and read it! There is so much more to learn!

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-Six

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Boyd Varty has written a book everyone should read for these reasons, 1) It’s discusses lions 2) It’s very short and 3) it will help you find your “track.” ons

Of course I guess I am assuming you are interested in lions, you want save time and your looking for your “track.”

Your Track

So what is your track? According to Varty it is from a life perspective the path to your purpose and it can be the track you are following to find a lion. A Rhino taught him something from the path he walked. That you need to “find the thing that is so engaging that it makes you forget yourself.”

Varty converts the lessons he has learned tracking animals into life lessons that all of us can use.

The Lions

What I found to be the most interesting thing in the whole book was what the author tells us about lions. For instance, did you know that a full grown make lion can get up to 400 pounds? You knew that? But did you know that same 400 pound lion can run 109 years (longer than a football field) in 4 seconds? I didn’t either!

What else? Did you know that other cats like the Jaguar or Leopard do not want to fight because it is too easy for them to get a fatal wound. However, the make lion, because he has the mane protecting his neck is much more aggressive! Yeah, I didn’t know that either.

The Journey

When you are tracking a lion the track can take a lot of turns. You can even lose it says the author. Then you use instinct to find it again. Your fate and the animals seem to be intertwined. This is like life he says.

He reflects on this by saying, “I thought of all the people I had met who wanted a full vision for a new life and then to move from where they were straight into it. I thought of all the people who had told me that when they knew exactly what they wanted to do, they would leave the soul-destroying thing that they were currently involved with. Obsessed with perfection and doing it right, we want to go straight to the “lion.” We don’t realize the significance of the path of first tracks and how to be invested in a discovery rather than an outcome.”

Renias

Renias is a friend of Varty. His ancestors tracked lions for food and he has taught Varty and others the skill. (They don’t track them for food or to kill them. They find them so tourists can see them). Renias is an “interesting” man. For example, he considers treadmills ridiculous!

That’s not all. He doesn’t think time is money, doesn’t talk politics, “when it’s time to work, he works. When it’s time to rest, he rests.” Varty says, “the aboriginals used to say of modern life, “It’s three days deep.” In three days in wilderness, you learn what’s important and your mind changes. Your way of being shifts.”

Stories

Even if you do not read this book, please listen to some of Varty’s stories. He is an excellent story teller who knows how to make the sounds of the jungle. You think you’re right there!

I do hope you read the book. It’s short like I said and packed with interesting information.

Go Hiking And Have An Undefeated Mind

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Could it be true? If you do nothing else but climb a mountain every week, will you have an undefeated mind? Of course not, but the title sounds pretty good. However, I do believe it improves your inner game.

How does it do that? As I have said before, it is not easy to go climb a mountain in bad weather or when your knees, or back or hips hurt. When you’re old!

First Hike Of The Year

Which brings me to my first point. Yesterday was the first hike of the “season” and year for me. So I have been languishing in the gym on hiking days for five months. Of course I am trying to strengthen all the muscles I use for hiking during that time. I think it works a little.

Working a little is just not enough to compensate for the grueling ordeal that is the first hike of the the season. The tendons in the back of my knees hurt. Yes, my quads hurt. I have a planters wart on the bottom of my foot and that hurts. Have neuropathy and that hurts. Did I mention it was cold with snow and ice?

Mountain As Obstacle

Getting up to the top and down the mountain the first time in months is a challenge. The mountain is an obstacle, but “OMMS.” OMMS? Yes, “obstacles make me stronger.” That is the mantra you need to ingrain in your brain over and over again.

In fact getting out into the 34 degree weather at the trailhead, knowing that to gets colder as you climb is also an obstacle. A mental obstacle, but an obstacle nevertheless.

Adventure Happens

I dropped one of my Microspikes. It was two hours before sunrise so a little on the dark side. Even with my dim headlamp I couldn’t find it. I climbed back down the mountain. Still no micro spike. Then someone coming up the trail behind me found it. Adventure!

That meant I could continue on up the mountain, but it slowed me down a lot. No record time yesterday. But losing one of my micro spikes has made me stronger. How so? I decided to super glue the broken pack strap so it doesn’t happen again.

Cramps

When I spend 4-5 hours on a mountain I need salt pills to keep me from getting cramps. Yesterday, I forgot the salt pills. So guess what? I got cramps coming down. Cramps were an obstacle to a good hiking experience. And of course obstacles make me stronger.

How did I insure that would be the case? When I returned I immediately ordered some more salt pills and put them on my pre- hiking check list. You do have a check list don’t you?

Wrapping It up

The conclusion is that because obstacles like mountains, lost Microspikes and cramps make me stronger mentally, then climbing mountains certainly contributes to my inner game.

The photograph on this page is one I took yesterday morning. I hope it inspires you to Go Hiking!

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-Five

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Alex Lickerman, MD wrote this book in 2012, but it is even ore timely today. Who wouldn’t want a mind that could not be defeated?

It gives us some practical advice on how to help our minds deal with the things that threaten to overthrow them. What a great bookish weapon to have in your back pack!

Nichiren Buddhism Impact

Lickerman practices Nichiren Buddhism and a lot of the book draws on those beliefs. Individuals who practice this type of Buddhism chant. I knew some people in the past that chanted every day. Lickerman discusses his chanting practice and how it has helped him, but his approach to having an undefeated mind is filled with these beliefs.

An example is that Nichiren Buddhism believes that wisdom is the catalyst to inner strength and is obtained from experiencing adversity. Lickerman combined this philosophy with modern science to produce the book.

Chronic Pain

Although I believe many suffer far more pain than myself, recently I have developed what is termed idiopathic neuropathy and at night the pain in my foot wakes me up. So I was very interested in what Lickerman had to say about the subject.

He says, “…though we may be tempted to believe patients with chronic pain who choose to suffer it rather than kill themselves do so because they want to survive even at the cost of their happiness, the more likely explanation is that their personal degree of pain tolerance enables them to remain happy despite their discomfort.” Interesting!

Suffering

The author tells us that Nichiren Buddhism says “We don’t suffer because we face obstacles; we suffer because we face obstacles we don’t believe we can overcome.” I believe the is very true. You need to believe that obstacles make you stronger. My nightly pain is helps me be more compassionate with others suffering and I feel stronger because of it.

Lickerman sounds like he agrees with me when he says that “…victory over obstacles that confront us isn’t as much about liberating ourselves from adversity as it is about obtaining the greatest benefit possible as a result of having encountered it.” And he continues, “…a problem is solved when it no longer makes us suffer.”

Creating Value

Lickerman believes that “…creating value for others is the key to attaining happiness for ourselves.” He goes on to discuss how altruism causes happiness and that “…the more value we create for others, the more value we assign ourselves.”

It is all tied to your purpose in life. As the author says, “So maybe creating value for others doesn’t increase our long-term happiness because it enhances our self-esteem ,but because it enhances our sense of purpose.”

So Much More

Is that it? Just abide by the above and you will have an undefeated mind? No, that is just the first of many offered in this book. In fact the above just takes you to page 26 of a 248 page book.

Why does that mean? It means if you want to find out about how idolizing the “road not taken” can lead to suffering, you need to read the book. There is so much more!