Stay on Offense Climb Mountains

Attacking Adversity

Bookish Weapon Number Seventy-Two

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This book’s subtitle is presented as a “Practical Guide” to face your darkness, end self-sabotage and find freedom. Sounds like a real bookish weapon to me, but then I am bias about bookish weapons.

Connor Beaton’s book makes you think. A lot. So much so he encourages you to get involved with a mens group so you can think about the tops together. After all there is strength in numbers and you are going to need a lot of strength to get through this one.

What Kind of Men?

The men who Connor says need this the most are men that has been abused, abused others, or who are hurting or have been hurt. A man that has hurt others or is hurting others. That covers it.

“A man that avoids his pain is a man that is enslaved by it,” say Beaton. Men are taught to suck it up, stuff it down, pour whiskey on it. Rinse and repeat.

Pain

“Most men simply haven’t been taught how to deal with their pain and use it to become something better,” says Beaton. “In fact, I began to see that not only have most men not been given the tools and resources to deal with the pain and suffering in their lives, but we as men are actively taught the opposite – the idiotic tactic of constant emotional avoidance. Not only this but our emotional avoidance is seen as a theoretical and rational strength in certain circles.” You get the general slant to the book. He says it is for men who wish to integrate their darkness so they are not so controlled by it.

He discusses how to integrate your “shadow.” Phil Stutz has spoken a lot about the shadow so some of you may be familiar with the term. It is the dark side. So this book helps you “to face your shadow and own all you have neglected, ignored and avoided.” Sounds like a big order, but Beaton says there are two pillars to man’s work, “a magnetic pull towards freedom, and the deep yearning to lead ourselves effectively, with passion, respect and fulfillment.” Then he says, “The shadow, especially within the male culture, has become a storehouse of repressed, hidden, and rejected pain.”

One Rule

Beaton refers to the “one rule of men” which is, “Don’t talk about what it’s like to be a man that is struggling.” Stuff it.Suck it up.

For some reason I have not experienced what he is talking about. I tell everybody my problems. That is my shortcoming.

Isolation

This is my other shortcoming. Beaton says, “Isolation makes a man impotent.” Well, that explains a lot for me! He goes on to say isolation creates hopeless and controlling men. He says that “…the inevitable impact of isolation is the amplification of pre-existing conditions, behaviors, thought patterns, emotions, and fears.” And, “When you isolate, you are left with nothing but your thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and coping mechanisms – letting them spin outing larger, more robust, and more concrete illusions. Anxiety, depression, imposter syndrome, and the coping mechanisms used to deal with these experiences are all amplified when you isolate from others or attempt to mask your own truth or desires.”

Isolation is built to either protect or punish says Beaton. A lot to think about.

The Father and Mother

I could rewrite the book, but let me just say that your mother and father have a lot to do with who you are now. Of course many men have processed this and at least understand it. If you read this section of the book you will most likely learn more than you thought you knew.

The “big ideas,” as Brian Johnson likes to discuss in his Philosopher Notes are asking yourself questions about how your father showed up in your life or not. Also, his pain. Then Beaton asks a lot of questions about your pain and how to turn your pain into purpose. The next idea that is discussed is the “shadow of the mother.” For example, Beaton says, “ A man who had a good experience with his mother, maybe too good, can become very effeminate in nature, be preyed upon or taken advantage of by women, and will usually struggle to cope with or want to face the hardships of life. These men are prone to reflecting and thinking about life so much that they struggle to live it fully.”

Your Anger

Beaton says to embrace it. This is a good discussion of how men relate to their anger. I personally am working on getting better at Reactive Discipline which is giving something some time before reacting. Beaton says, “Your activity is a neon sign pointing toward your shadow.” “Defensiveness, passive-aggression, feeling hopeless, shutting down, or aggressively criticizing are all examples of reactivity.”

So get a grip on your anger guys!

One Last Thing

I have spent a good deal of my life in personal development so when I read the following it got my attention:

“The hidden truth about your personal development, or personal growth, is that it is equally a practice in personal death.” If you want to read more of this sort of thing get the book and read it.

Bookish Weapon Number 69

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Cameron Hanes runs up mountains to train himself to be the best bowhunter in the world. He likes to hunt far away from the typical hunting grounds in places that are hard to reach unless you’re in his kind of physical shape.

His book “Endure” captures his story which is a great one and one that continues. I was drawn to the title, because I though my word for this year was “endure.” There was one other box with the same name, but Cam’s subtitle included the words “keep hammering” and that spoke to me.

Focus

The thing that stood out for me right away was the intense focus this man has put on one thing, hunting. Maybe two. Hunting and training to hunt.

To some, running 100 mile races might seem over the top, but not for Hanes. He knows they give him the edge he needs to be a successful hunter year after year. It all provides meaning and purpose to his life.

Learn From Cameron

There are lots of excellent lessons in this book like how not to let your critics get to you. How to learn from others and how to “burst through the bonds of low expectations.”

He stresses the importance of believing in yourself and being obsessed with improvement. He thinks that obsession in successful people is not because they think they are great, but because they really think they are not that great at all and need to improve!

Get Used to Being Uncomfortable

This book is about what I have learned to be expansive discipline which is putting yourself in uncomfortable situations. They induce growth. Cam says that “My good friend Misery and I have become real close over the years.

Now remember this not about being yourself up for the sake of beating yourself up. Hanes has a purpose and a mission. Getting used to being uncomfortable helps him hit the mark time and time again.

Greatness

Cameron Hanes believes in you and me. He says, “The good news is I believe each and every one of us is capable of greatness in something. He continues, by saying, “Your bowhunting is out there. I promise. It will open doors for yours well. But be warned: when you become obsessed, it takes over your life. This obsessive approach works for me.”

What’s it going to take. You might have guessed it. Hard work or as Cam says, “…damn hard work.”

Your Body

Frankly I can’t say it better than Cameron Hanes, “Your body gives what you ask of it. Don’t ask much and it won’t give you much. Ask a lot and it will give you a lot. I haven’t found my limit yet, but I am trying.”
This book is very inspirational especially for those who want to strengthen themselves. He talks about putting his body through the wringer. However, he might disagree with me when I say you do need some rest from time to time. Even then your main focus must be to “keep hammering!”

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-Six

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Boyd Varty has written a book everyone should read for these reasons, 1) It’s discusses lions 2) It’s very short and 3) it will help you find your “track.” ons

Of course I guess I am assuming you are interested in lions, you want save time and your looking for your “track.”

Your Track

So what is your track? According to Varty it is from a life perspective the path to your purpose and it can be the track you are following to find a lion. A Rhino taught him something from the path he walked. That you need to “find the thing that is so engaging that it makes you forget yourself.”

Varty converts the lessons he has learned tracking animals into life lessons that all of us can use.

The Lions

What I found to be the most interesting thing in the whole book was what the author tells us about lions. For instance, did you know that a full grown make lion can get up to 400 pounds? You knew that? But did you know that same 400 pound lion can run 109 years (longer than a football field) in 4 seconds? I didn’t either!

What else? Did you know that other cats like the Jaguar or Leopard do not want to fight because it is too easy for them to get a fatal wound. However, the make lion, because he has the mane protecting his neck is much more aggressive! Yeah, I didn’t know that either.

The Journey

When you are tracking a lion the track can take a lot of turns. You can even lose it says the author. Then you use instinct to find it again. Your fate and the animals seem to be intertwined. This is like life he says.

He reflects on this by saying, “I thought of all the people I had met who wanted a full vision for a new life and then to move from where they were straight into it. I thought of all the people who had told me that when they knew exactly what they wanted to do, they would leave the soul-destroying thing that they were currently involved with. Obsessed with perfection and doing it right, we want to go straight to the “lion.” We don’t realize the significance of the path of first tracks and how to be invested in a discovery rather than an outcome.”

Renias

Renias is a friend of Varty. His ancestors tracked lions for food and he has taught Varty and others the skill. (They don’t track them for food or to kill them. They find them so tourists can see them). Renias is an “interesting” man. For example, he considers treadmills ridiculous!

That’s not all. He doesn’t think time is money, doesn’t talk politics, “when it’s time to work, he works. When it’s time to rest, he rests.” Varty says, “the aboriginals used to say of modern life, “It’s three days deep.” In three days in wilderness, you learn what’s important and your mind changes. Your way of being shifts.”

Stories

Even if you do not read this book, please listen to some of Varty’s stories. He is an excellent story teller who knows how to make the sounds of the jungle. You think you’re right there!

I do hope you read the book. It’s short like I said and packed with interesting information.

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-Four

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What do you think about Artificial Intelligence? Or, have you given it much thought at all? Well, Mo Gawdat has written “Scary Smart,” which is all about our little robot friends. He says they are getting smarter and will soon be at the level of the title of his book.

Have you watched any of the Boston Dynamics videos demonstrating their various robots and what they can do? You probably have and have been amazed like me.

Next Level

According to Gawdat, robots learn fast. As Mo says, “the smartest gamers in the world are no longer humans.” Wow! Isn’t that something! He gives some great examples and before you can digest that he says that, “the smartest communicators in the world today are no longer humans. The smartest are artificial intelligence machines.” What? That is really interesting. But then just before you turn your attention to what your five year old is doing, he says, “the smartest visual observers are o longer humans.The markets are artificial intelligence machines.”

“The sci-fi we imagined the past, has, somehow, created our present.” Robots and humans fight it out in the sci-fi movies like “Skynet.” Is that what our future will be like? Do humans “intentionally relinquish control?” Lots of possibilities.

Even Scarier

The first part of the excellent book will scare you. In fact, most of it will scare you. That is a good thing according to Mo. He wants you really scared. So he talks about how AI will outsmart humans and bad things will happen.

What bad things? Use your imagination. What if the bad guys teach an AI to control the stock market? What if they teach them to kill people? It goes on and on. And bad things will happen even if we get the right handle on everything.

What to Do?

Gawdat says we need to treat AI machines like they were children. We teach children how to be good and not bad. What is the best way to teach children that? By example. If AI learns that we value money and power above all else then that is what they will learn.

In the last part of the book Gawdat writes as if he were writing directly to the machines that, he says, are going to be reading his book. He tries to convince them that we mean no harm and we are trying to help them and be their moral examples. And we need to accept the machines as part of our life. Maybe someday you will have a new hiking partner!

There is so much more n this book. It will make you think about the future like nothing else. So get it and read it of course!

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-Two

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Scott Glassman wrote a book in 2013 called “A Happier You,” which is what I am going to summarize for you today. Recently, he wrote a new book, but I have not read it yet so I won’t comment.

“A Happier You,” is a step by step guide for becoming happier. It is a program really, which includes exercise you do every week. The question is how many people will take the time to do the exercises. Here are some of the highlights of the book.

Seven Weeks

The book is divided into seven weeks which include the following, catching positive events, exploring successes and personal strengths, cultivating gratitude, finding laughter and playfulness, fueling life with enjoyable and meaningful activities, reveling the springs of kindness and expanding the boundaries of love.

The author recommends that you not only do the exercises but do them several times per week. So this may be a book you want to read several times to get the full effect and to be sure to get your quota of exercises done.

Mountains

One of the things I liked was his use of mountains to explain concepts. He talks about listing “mountains” conquered during your week. It could include all your positive accomplishments or just major ones.

Then he says to ask yourself, “How do the smallest mountains I conquered this week move me closer to achieving my larger goals in life?”

Gratitude

Gratitude is a big part of feeling happier. I was not surprised when he included it. Every morning I write seven things down that I am grateful for including something that was bad but that had a silver lining.

The unique thing about how Glassman approaches this are the exercises. For example, he has you list common things you do every day and then gives you questions to ask that make them better. One question is, “How can I see this activity in my life as a gift?” Another great one is asking, “Is this something that would have been possible a hundred yeas ago? If not, how does that effect how much I appreciate it now?”

Meaning

Finding more meaning in your life should make you happier so the author spends some time helping you find it. Where? In new activities maybe. Or finding the meaning in existing activities.

Another part of this discussion includes values and the importance of fueling your activities by using values. You value fitness and health so you go hiking!

As usual there is a lot more in this book and I recommend you get it.

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty

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Mel Robbins is so inspiring and “real.” Her latest book sure is a “bookish weapon” for you all. It is called “The High Five Habit.”

What makes the “High Five Habit,” so special? I’m going to break it down for you.

Simple But Powerful

What Mel wants us all to do when we get up in the morning is high five ourselves in the mirror. That is pretty simple. We all know how to high five someone. Mel acknowledges that it will feel a little strange at first ( I will attest to that). However, once you get rolling all is well.

As you are standing in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, set an intention for the day and then say out loud several possible things depending on your situation. For example, maybe you are afraid of an upcoming speech you need to give and you say, “I’m afraid and I have got this,” or “You can handle this. I know you can.” So you get the idea. The book gives more examples. After only four days I noticed a difference in how I felt about myself. Mel says it is because our mind knows that a high five is a positive congratulation and you are giving it to yourself. It works on you! It changes how you see yourself.

Controlling Negative Self Talk

There are other books that discuss this in detail as well, but I really liked Mel’s approach. When a negative thought appears in your head you say, “I’m not thinking about that.” Then you replace that thought with something positive. You are checking your mental filter.

As Mel points out that, “It’s dead simple, but if you are an over thinker, a worrier, a catastrophizer, paralyzed by fears, or struggling with anxiety, this is a life changing. Keep interrupting those negative thoughts every time they pop up during the day. Then as I mentioned above, you replace the thought with something positive and Mel gives you a whole list of Matras to choose from or find your own. Here is a sample from her list: “I deserve to feel good today.” “I have my own back.” “This is teaching me something I need to know.”

Obstacles and Opportunity

This part of the book was a great reminder for me that obstacles can mean opportunity. Mel tells a story about a Uber driver she met with a dream and how she helped him. She points out that “…there are two kinds of people: People who see obstacles and people who see opportunity.” She points out that the “high five attitude is action oriented and sees opportunity.”

What are the practical steps? If you say to yourself, “Now is not the right time for my dreams,” Mel says to flip it to, “If I put in the work I can make it happen.” She advises us to set a deadline. Then write all this down! If you write it down it is a signal that it is important to you. Ok, you got it? Then get Mel’s book. There is a lot more in it!