Stay on Offense Climb Mountains

Attacking Adversity

Bookish Weapon Number Forty-Nine

by Leave a Comment

Rethinking Positive Thinking

Have you ever had to rethink anything? What about something like gravity? Something that you just don’t think requires any rethinking. This book is like that. Who could imagine that positive thinking would invite any rethinking?

“Rethinking Positive Thinking,” by Gabriele Oettingen gets your attention. The subtitle is “Inside the New Science of Motivation.” Who doesn’t want to know about that? The question is what needs to be rethought? The author discusses the “cult of optimism” and how it is everywhere. The book was written in 2014. She sites “The Secret” and “Chicken Soup for The Soul,” and says that the idea that all we have to do is imagine what we want and it will magically appear leaves a lot to be desired.

Studies

Study after study after study. That is the first part of this book. The author and her compatriots used students in experiment after experiment to prove their ideas. They did studies with people of other age groups as well. She says she spent twenty years doing this research. So if you are someone who needs to see the proof, it is here.

There is a study involving women and their shoes. I thought that was an interesting one. Actually, there were a couple of them.

WOOP

All the studies ultimately resulted in a useful tool for you and me. The acronym is WOOP and it stands for Wish, Obstacles Outcome, and Plan. Simple and powerful and it is why Brian Johnson at the Optimize Me group picked it as one of the three best books of that genre.

Dreaming about pleasant outcomes isn’t enough, but it does lower your blood pressure. I bet you didn’t know that. So next time you think your blood pressure might be rising just think about winning the lottery.

Wish and Outcome

The first thing to get on paper is your wish. Your goal. Your vision. Get it down in detail. Maybe as Hal Elrod suggests do a ten-year vision for each area of your life. With the WOOP process you “disengage from wishes that aren’t practical.” Focus only on realistic goals!

Why is the outcome you want? It might be easier if you think of the outcome as the benefits you will receive if you attain your wish. Think about these in detail. Include all your senses or as many as possible. Feel the sand between your toes if your wish is to walk a Hawaiian beach.

Obstacle and Plan

Now here is where all the studies paid off. After you have your wish all settled you need to focus on the obstacle or obstacles you will be facing. You need to focus on the negative present reality along with the fantasy of the big wish. The author stresses that it is important to focus on internal obstacles and not the external ones. Do that in the right way and Boom, success. Well, almost.

You do need one more thing. A plan. How are you going to get from point A to point B? What can you do to overcome your first obstacle? She calls this the “If, then” plan. Say to yourself if X (the obstacle) occurs you will do Y (overcome the obstacle). I would also add the importance of changing strategies if you get feedback that your plan is not working then adjust your strategy.

The App

Yes, there is an App for WOOP. They have one for students and adults. This is smart. More of these books should have Apps that help people through a new process.

You can find the APP at woopmylofe.org. But I say buy the book too!! There is a lot more in it. Not just studies.

Bookish Weapon Number Forty-Six

by Leave a Comment

“Think Like A Monk,” was one of those books that I pre-ordered. It was because I had heard the author discuss it on a podcast. Have I confessed yet that I am a podcast junkie almost as much as I am a book junkie? The author, Jay Shetty seems like someone you would like as a friend.

The book is about life from the perspective of someone who has been a Monk and lived to tell about it. Yes, he survived all that meditation and silence. The other thing that makes this book so interesting is that he was an Indian Monk. Not a Catholic Franciscan or a Buddhist Monk. There are lots of books from them.

Values

Early in the book, Shetty spends some time discussing values. He draws some pictures for those that are visual to help make his point.

He says to look at your past values and gives you a little exercise. He says, “Reflect on the three worst choices you’ve ever made. Why did you make them? What have you learned? How would you have done it differently?” I found that exercise to be enlightening and I go back often to look at my notes at the bottom of the page.

He also suggests that you watch where you spend your money because that will tell you a lot about what you value.

Negativity, Fear, and Intention

These are three whole chapters in the book. There is a lot in there so of course, you should read it. One of the best things he discusses is what he calls, “Spot, Stop and Swap.” You spot a negative thought. Stop to understand what it is and then Swap in a new way of processing.

He says he learned to let go of his fear of fear when he was a monk. He goes on to say we fear the wrong things and it causes us to miss opportunities. Shetty tells the story of “Biosphere 2” in Arizona. It was a sealed environment so no wind. The planted trees and the trees eventually just fell over, because normally the rots would go deep and get stronger in response to the wind, but there was no wind. His point is that adversity helps us grow stronger and that we need to get out of our “self-made Biospheres.”

“Intention,” is all about goals. “Fear desire, duty, and love are the roots of all intentions.” When you have a want ask yourself why seven times. I had read this before. Once you get to number seven you have probably found your real why.

Purpose or Dharma

“Dharma is using this natural inclination, the things you’re good at, your thrive mode, to serve others.” Shetty says “Passion + Expertise + Usefulness = Dharma. One of the things he says I really liked was that “My limitations make space for the gifts of other people.”

One approach to this that he suggests is that many should focus on looking “for opportunities to do what you love in the life you already have.”

Failure and Success

Shetty says, “ Humility comes from accepting where you are without seeing it as a reflection of who you are. Then you can use your imagination to find success.” “…soliciting, evaluating, and responding to feedback will increase your confidence and self-awareness.”

“You shouldn’t feel small compared to others, but you should feel small compared to your goals.” I don’t know about you but that inspires me!

Service

The author has a unique way that he explains the importance of service. I don’t think I have ever seen or heard it said with such an impact.

He says that “The highest purpose is to live in service.” He goes on to say, “service connects us, service amplifies our gratitude, service increases compassion and service builds self-esteem.” Well said. He urges us to “serve the pain that you know best.” Finally, “Service is the direct path to a meaning full life.” So there you have it! Think Like A Monk!

Bookish Weapon Number Forty-Five

by Leave a Comment

How often in your life has your personality changed? Benjamin Hardy makes the case that it certainly doesn’t have to stay the same in his book, “Personality Isn’t Permanent.” A bookish weapon for sure. I mean aren’t they all?

You tell yourself that you are who you are and there is nothing you can do about it. You tell others you are “authentic.” You took a personality test and that’s that. Well, this book will make you stop and rethink everything.

The Case Against Personality Tests

The first part of the book is a well thought out case as to why personality is not permanent. He presents you with stories of individuals that totally changed themselves. He debunks the intricacies of personality tests as myths. Myth number one is that they are personality “Types.” He says these are “social or mental constructions, not realities.” Did you know that personality testing is a $2 billion industry?

Personality tests label you and labels are not good. They create tunnel vision. He quotes a Harvard psychologist, Dr. Ellen Langer: “ If something is presented as an accepted truth, alternative ways of thinking do not even come up for consideration.”

He also quotes Dr, Katherine Rogers, a personality psychologist that said, “We know that personality doesn’t work in types….I wouldn’t trust Myers and Briggs to tell me any more about my personality than I would trust my horoscope.”

Personality Is Not Fixed

I found this section to be powerful. He once again quotes a Harvard psychologist, Daniel Gilbert who says, “Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they are finished.”

Hardy says, “Your personality changes. It has changed and it will continue to change in the future. Consequently, it’s time to start thinking about who your future self is going it be. You don’t want to be surprised, or frustrated by where you’re at and who you become. You don’t want to leave your future self hanging due to neglect, bad planning, or poor decisions on the part of your present self.” He goes on to say that to say, It’s best to make decisions based on what your future, not your present, self wants.” Read that again. Then read it once more!

What to do?

Hardy says that you need to “…distinguish your present self from your future self. They aren’t the same person.” He continues, “The analogy of the future selfs another person may seem like a strange one, but it is rather powerful when it comes to understanding long term decision making.”

“Who you want to be in the future is more important than who you are now. Your intended future self should direct your current identity and personality far more than your former self does.”

Purpose

Hardy thinks everyone should have a massive purpose. “Spending your days on activities leading you to something incredibly important, something you truly value, is how you live without regret.”

He advises to select one major goal and use it as a filter for everything else. “One goal creates focus. Focus creates momentum.”

The author advises us to use a journal. I like that as it is one of my four strategies in “Attacking Adversity.” While journaling he says to ask these questions: 1. Where am I now? 2. What were the wins from the past 90 days? 3. What are the ins I want from the next 90 days? 4. Where do I want to be in three years? 5. Where do I want to be in one year?

More

There is so much more to this book and that is why you should read it. Hardy discusses trauma and how it affects people. Also, the need for a professional counselor when you have no one else to “witness” your feelings. He discusses how to shift your life story so that when you tell people about you it is your future self that shines.

Bookish Weapon Number Forty-Three

by Leave a Comment

Bob Goff’s new book “Dream Big” is inspirational. It actually got me to start dreaming again. Surely it is a Bookish Weapon. You need weapons like this if you are going to Stay on Offense. Dreaming is essential.

The Bible says something about old men dreaming dreams and young men seeing visions. I would say that dreaming big is a vision. Especially if it is something that will captivate others.

Ambition

Goff says, “If ambition had two handles, they would be love and hope.” He says you should grab hold of love and hope and never let go. That makes sense. My experience has been that they are very easy to lose.

His main ambition has been to love God and people without an agenda. I suppose an example of this is him giving his personal phone number out to everybody and then taking the calls.

Who, Where and What

One of the first things you need to do according to Goff even before you start dreaming is to find out who you are, where you are, and what you want. That seems reasonable. He uses his experience as a pilot to explain this and I identify with that because I am I Private Pilot as well. However, Goff owns a small airline so he has a few more hours than myself. When you are landing you need to let the tower know who you are, where you are, and what you want.

That is sort of true. I remember when my wife and I were flying back from Abbotsford in Canada in a Piper Cherokee 140. As we were approaching Paine field in Snohomish County on our way to Boeing Field, a 747 was taking off below. It began to ascend and looked like it was going to hit us. I contacted the tower to tell them who I was, where I was, and what I wanted. I was Piper Cherokee four four four niner uniform, at 3,500 feet heading south and I wanted to know what to do since it looked like I was going to get hit. The tower told me to keep going at tht altitude and all would be well.

Technically when you are above 2000 feet you are not officially under the tower’s authority so once I could see the 747 pilot’s teeth, I decided to do a 180. I told the tower my plans and they wished me a good day. We survived.

Goff says, “An unexpectant life is one that is merely on repeat.” I like that. You need to have some expectations. You need to know what you want. One of the great pieces of advice I read was to ask yourself over and over, what you feel, what you want, and what’s your next move.

Sleepwalking

This part of the book was my favorite. Many of us sleepwalk through life. It is easy to do. It is difficult to realize who the Universe/God has designed you to be in this world. At least it is for me.

Goff says, “I fully engage life and the people around me with love, honesty, and an unreasonable, almost annoying heap of expectation. What would happen in your life if you started to do the same?” He says you need to live in “constant expectation of what might happen next.” That’s very good! Read that again!

So what About the Dreams?

List them. Goff says to get a pen and paper and list your dreams. How long has it been since you did that? Have you ever done it? So do it! Then, “…ask yourself which one of your ambitions is more beautiful and lasting and impactful than all the others.”

“Ask yourself what would make you happy and fulfilled.” Go ahead do it. Don’t just read it. Are there any themes in your list of dreams/ambitions. Anything you keep coming back to? If there are then those are clues. Stick with it.

Goff says, “…your dreams come in three sizes: easy, kind of hard, and seemingly impossible. The size of your ambitions doesn’t necessarily indicate the difficulty of achieving them.”

The author talks about so many more things in this book. Like putting yourself into the “stream of possibility.” Yes, you can do that. And figuring out how God wired you. Being a real dreamer and not a daydreamer. How? Take action.

Go Hiking And Live the Charged Life

by Leave a Comment

Book Titles really lend themselves to discussing hiking. I mean that if you are hiking then you are living the charged life. No doubt about it. So now you want to know why that might be, right?

Here is the deal. There are four ways hiking contributes to living a charged life. So here they are for your consideration.

Nature

Just being in nature rejuvenates the body and mind, but appreciating it is even more important. You need to love that tree and the sky and the wind. There will come a time when you won’t be able to feel the wind on your face. Think about that every time you feel a breeze. You will appreciate nature and life.

Consistently exposing yourself to the elements makes you stronger. You could even take a lesson fro Wim How, the “Ice Man” and go hiking with in shorts and no shirt when it is 30 degrees or colder. No, that is appreciating nature.

Energy

Any kind of exercise will provide you with more energy, but there is something about climbing a mountain that takes it to another level. Maybe it is that you feel you have accomplished something significant and no matter what the rest of your day holds you will have that spark to face it.

It doesn’t matter if your muscles are sore and tired. The energy is still there. It will fuel you throughout the rest of your day.

Purpose

You hear a lot about having a purpose these days. Every self-help book discusses it. I don’t think people have only one purpose, they have multiple. One purpose might be to provide for your family. Another to become physically healthy and fit. All of these keep you charged.

My favorite purpose is to make it to the top of a mountain every week. There is nothing like to keep you charged and focused.

In his book “Charged,” Brendon Burchard quotes Tom Robbins on purpose. Tom says, “Our purpose is to consciously, deliberately evolve towards a wiser, more liberated and luminous state of being.” A great way to get to that state is to climb a mountain every week. You get wiser, more liberated and definitely more luminous!

Challenge

There is nothing like a weekly climb up a mountain to stoke your need for a challenge. Even if you have climbed the same mountain a hundred times (and I have done that), it is still a challenge every time.

Challenge in life is seriously important. Think about the people that enter Spartan races. My guess is most of these people are extremely successful and live a comfortable life. They need adversity and challenges in their life so they go looking for it. At my age, a weekly climb up a mountain is plenty of challenge and I don’t have to pay an entrance fee.

Bookish Weapon Number Thirty-Two

by Leave a Comment

This book, “Awareness,” by Anthony De Mello was written some time ago but has received recent accolades from the likes of Tim Ferriss and others. There is a good reason for it. He was certainly one of the first proponents of mindfulness although he didn’t call it that.

The book is short with big ideas. Sometimes those are the best kind. You can just read them over and over again.

Sleeping

De Mello says most people are asleep. He says, “They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing we call human existence.” He goes on to say that “all Mystics, Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion – are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well.”

Insights abound in this book. Being asleep is discussed throughout the book and he makes a point that people do not want to “be cured.” “What they want is relief; a cure is painful.” “Most people go to a psychiatrist or psychologist to get relief. I repeat: to get relief. Not to get out of it.” So he says you need to “realize that you don’t want to wake up.”

You

Here is a passage that struck me and like I so often do I will quote the whole thing. It is an idea I think everyone needs to hear especially in this day and age where it seems everyone is running to therapy over even minor things. He says that we are “not ok” but it doesn’t matter. We should just observe (be aware). Then he says,

“This reminds me of the fellow in London after the war. He’s sitting with a parcel wrapped in brown paper in his lap; it’s a big, heavy object. The bus conductor comes up to him and says, “What do you have on your lap there?” And the man says, “This is an unexploded bomb. We dug it out of the garden and I am taking it to the police station.” The conductor says, “You don’t want to carry that on your lap. Put it under the seat.”

“Psychology and spirituality (as we generally understand it) transfer the bomb from your lap to under your seat. They don’t really solve your problems. Has that ever struck you? You had a problem, now you exchange it for another one. It’s always going to be that way until we solve the problem called “you.”

Suffering

“Do you want a sign you’re asleep? Here it is: You’re suffering. Suffering is a sign that you are out of touch with the truth.”

He says, “All suffering is caused by my identifying myself with something, whether that something is within me or outside me.” “Grief is a sign that I made my happiness depend on this thing or person, at least to some extent.”

He makes the case for enjoying people not for who they are but also for more than who they are and we are. He goes on to say that, Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality.” Then he talks about the “organized industry” designed to distract us from reality. I/Phone anyone?

How about some “bliss.” De Mello says, “There’s only one reason why you’re not experiencing what in India we call Anand – bliss, bliss. There’s only one reason why you’re not experiencing bliss at this present moment, and it is because you’re thinking or focusing on what you don’t have.”

Wisdom

The Bible says wisdom begins with the fear of God. I am sure De Mello has read this and agrees, but he says there are four steps to wisdom. First, you need to become aware of negative feelings you didn’t realize you had. Second, is to “understand that the feeling is in you, not in reality.” The third step is to “Never identify with that feeling. It has nothing to do with the I…don’t say, “I am depressed.” He says you can say “It is depressed.” You should not define yourself in terms of a feeling. That is a mistake. The fourth step is to change yourself. Don’t try to change somebody else. Realize that “the world is right because I feel good.” You feeling good goes first.

De Mello says, “There is no explanation you can give that would explain away all the sufferings and evil and torture and destruction and hunger in the world! “…Because life is a mystery, which means your thinking mind cannot make sense out of it. For that you’ve got to wake up and then you’ll suddenly realize that reality is not problematic, you are the problem.”

Life

“Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind.” How about that statement! I agree with him when he says. “Loneliness is when you are missing people, aloneness is when you’re enjoying yourself.”

Then he gives us a pretty good definition of awareness. It is like mindfulness without the wanting. He puts it this way, “When people say they want to experience every moment, they are really talking awareness, except for the “wanting.”

Death

“You are not living until it doesn’t matter a tinker’s damn to you whether you live or die.” Now that is something to think about. He doesn’t end there. “People mistakenly think that living is keeping the body alive. So love the thought of death. Love it.”

Then he suggests visiting a graveyard. Consider the people there. How short their lives were.

I must confess that I am asleep and hope I remain asleep if being awake means you don’t care if your alive or dead. I think his perspective may be due to the fact that he is old as he writes this and closer to death or I am just to stupid to grasp this idea.

Love

He says, “Give up your dependency. Tear away the tentacles of society that have enveloped and suffocated your being. You must drop them. Externally, everything will go on as before, but though you will continue to be in the world, you will not be of it.”

And then he says something I can really identify with. “It will help, too, if you return to nature. Send the crowds away, go up to the mountains, and silently commune with trees and flowers and animals and birds, with sea and clouds and sky and stars.” “That is the cure for loneliness.”