Stay on Offense Climb Mountains

Attacking Adversity

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Six

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“The Attributes,” by Rich Diviney will teach you a lot about things you thought you already knew. Things that you can use in the fight. There were two examples in the book that took me by surprise. Accountability and Narcissism.

I focus first on these because I found them most interesting. After those I will look at some others.

Accountability

There are twenty-five Attributes in the book, so why start with this one? It is because discovered I was very low in it. I thought I understood what it meant, but then Diviney explained that one of the things that someone who is accountable doesn’t do is be a mediator.

He explains by saying that someone who is a mediator will get an order from the boss and then go tell his subordinates that this is the new order and he doesn’t necessarily agree with it but it is whet the boss wants. That is being a mediator and is bad. You should rather own that order like it was your own.

Narcissism

My first reaction was that you would not want a Narcissist on your team, but I was wrong.

The author points out that everybody has a degree of narcissism in them and a certain amount of it is a good thing. It is only when it gets out of hand that it becomes a negative. You need a decent dose of it to get yourself to take on a challenge. Otherwise you wouldn’t try.

Resilience

The best story in the book is the one about Hank. He lost both his legs in war. When he wakes up in the hospital and realizes he has no legs he says to himself, ”I’m going to be fine. Grab the paper towels.” Apparently his mother had taught him not to cry over spilt milk. He had dropped a bottle of milk and it splattered all over the floor. His mother told him to “Get the paper towels.” That stuck with him.

If you are high in resilience then maybe you would react like Hank. Hank also says, “Getting over the little tragedies in daily life is how you get over the big tragedies.” He says he became resilient before he lost his legs.

Discipline

You probably think you know all about discipline. You read Jocko Willink’s book “Discipline Equals Freedom.” You didn’t, well read it then. Anyway, I thought there was just one kind of discipline, self-discipline. It turns out I was wrong again. Diviney explains that self-discipline is not eating the cookie, overcoming emotions and weaknesses, but discipline is about “accomplishing external goals.”

The other thing is that self-discipline is a skill and discipline is an attribute! As he says, “Discipline is the determined ability to remain focused until goals are accomplished.” That is huge. I never realized the difference for some reason.

Conscientiousness

Ok, this is the last one. I don’t need to re-write the book. However, Diviney tells another story about a man named Chris that displayed this characteristic. It is “an amalgam of traits and behaviors. Persistence, thoroughness, and predictability are key parts of a conscientious personality, as are resourcefulness, energy, and planning.”

Chris was a Navy SEAL going through BUDs. Divine says he volunteered for everything. He was always looking to do more. In his childhood he learned that you should always be looking to help. This carried into adulthood. His philosophy served him in civilian life as well when he became a SWAT team commander. His men figured, “If the boss is always looking for something to do, the theory goes, maybe I should too.”

Remember, there are 25 attributes in the book. Don’t miss ay of them. Read it!

Bookish Weapon Number Forty-Seven

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“My grandma kept cash in her bra,” is the opening line in “Everything is Spiritual,” by Rob Bell. Bell was a Christian pastor of a megachurch until 2012. I am not sure exactly how he sees himself today, but I am sure he has clarified that somewhere but not in this book at least.

He writes in bursts. A regular paragraph like this:

“I picked up on all that muted grief floating in the air between my grandma and dad, and from an early age I just wanted to make them laugh.”

To this:

“That’s what I remember.
I made her laugh.
I made him laugh.
If I could get them laughing so hard they were in tears,
I knew I’d done something.”

Then back to regular paragraphs.

Substance

He discusses tripping over what he calls a “spiritual talk thing” and decided that was what he was going to do with his life. So he retells some of what happened before his church voted him out. In this book, he really doesn’t talk about that. You need to read “Love Wins” to get that full story.

He talks about his dad’s father and how he died young and how that somehow influenced his sense of things. He says, “However solid life may appear, it’s also very fragile.” To be fair he says that on two separate lines. This style does allow him to emphasize things without putting them in italics, yet he does that too. Everything in the book has weight in this way.

More examples

In the following the first line is italicized:

“What do you do with the pain in life?”
“You keep moving, keep accomplishing, keep striving. Whatever you do, don’t be lazy. Don’t appear to be coasting. And whatever happens, stay a step ahead of the pain. Keep it buried. Keep it down.”

That is how he thought he should be living his life based on his childhood. Now he sees things differently. He says, “Through the help of a number of guides over the years, I begin to see a new way to be, one rooted in the enduring truth: There’s nothing to prove.” That’s italicized!

Lots more one-sentence paragraphs. Then he says he is telling us about where he came from and who he came from because we are like him. We all come from people and places.

“Our lives are loaded from the beginning with history and drums and love and wounds and tragedy and hope. I’m mysterious enough myself, let alone the ones I come from, let alone all the people I’m constantly encountering with your own hopes and fears and histories and mysteries, let alone this floating ball of rock we call home that’s hurtling through space at 87,000 miles per hour.”

Now that is some paragraph and it gets even more interesting, but you need to read the book.

Things to Remember

This is the kind of book that is free-floating and talks about a lot for things in a sort of order. Here are some items that stood out for me:

“Curiosity is the antidote to despair.” I agree! He says, “Despair is the spiritual disease of believing that tomorrow will simply be a repeat of today.” “Curiosity whispers to you, You’re just getting started…”

“We need forms. But that’s what they are – dust. Dirt. Earth. It’s the breath that gives it life. That gives us life.” “The invitation is to allow sprit to transform all these forms, so the they become everything they can be, guiding us into the fuller experience of the depths of life.”

He has a revelation while talking to Father Jack: “When we take ourselves too seriously it gets in the way of the thing that we are so seriously trying to do.”

He is telling Father Jack all the things he is doing etc.

After a time he stops me
He’s so kind and so firm
And so fierce

He tells me that I have a gift to give, so I should give it. He says that it is a generous gift that we each give to the world, and we should take good care of ourselves. To give a generous gift, we must be generous with ourselves. And to give generously, we must become very good at receiving generously.”

Finally, Death

“There is death
At the end of life,
But for you to be here
There was death, lots of it, millions and millions of times over,
At the start of your life.

He then discusses death and how a lot of sperm had to die to make you. That and a bunch of other things had to happen for you to exist. You are a miracle!

Bookish Weapon Number Forty-Three

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Bob Goff’s new book “Dream Big” is inspirational. It actually got me to start dreaming again. Surely it is a Bookish Weapon. You need weapons like this if you are going to Stay on Offense. Dreaming is essential.

The Bible says something about old men dreaming dreams and young men seeing visions. I would say that dreaming big is a vision. Especially if it is something that will captivate others.

Ambition

Goff says, “If ambition had two handles, they would be love and hope.” He says you should grab hold of love and hope and never let go. That makes sense. My experience has been that they are very easy to lose.

His main ambition has been to love God and people without an agenda. I suppose an example of this is him giving his personal phone number out to everybody and then taking the calls.

Who, Where and What

One of the first things you need to do according to Goff even before you start dreaming is to find out who you are, where you are, and what you want. That seems reasonable. He uses his experience as a pilot to explain this and I identify with that because I am I Private Pilot as well. However, Goff owns a small airline so he has a few more hours than myself. When you are landing you need to let the tower know who you are, where you are, and what you want.

That is sort of true. I remember when my wife and I were flying back from Abbotsford in Canada in a Piper Cherokee 140. As we were approaching Paine field in Snohomish County on our way to Boeing Field, a 747 was taking off below. It began to ascend and looked like it was going to hit us. I contacted the tower to tell them who I was, where I was, and what I wanted. I was Piper Cherokee four four four niner uniform, at 3,500 feet heading south and I wanted to know what to do since it looked like I was going to get hit. The tower told me to keep going at tht altitude and all would be well.

Technically when you are above 2000 feet you are not officially under the tower’s authority so once I could see the 747 pilot’s teeth, I decided to do a 180. I told the tower my plans and they wished me a good day. We survived.

Goff says, “An unexpectant life is one that is merely on repeat.” I like that. You need to have some expectations. You need to know what you want. One of the great pieces of advice I read was to ask yourself over and over, what you feel, what you want, and what’s your next move.

Sleepwalking

This part of the book was my favorite. Many of us sleepwalk through life. It is easy to do. It is difficult to realize who the Universe/God has designed you to be in this world. At least it is for me.

Goff says, “I fully engage life and the people around me with love, honesty, and an unreasonable, almost annoying heap of expectation. What would happen in your life if you started to do the same?” He says you need to live in “constant expectation of what might happen next.” That’s very good! Read that again!

So what About the Dreams?

List them. Goff says to get a pen and paper and list your dreams. How long has it been since you did that? Have you ever done it? So do it! Then, “…ask yourself which one of your ambitions is more beautiful and lasting and impactful than all the others.”

“Ask yourself what would make you happy and fulfilled.” Go ahead do it. Don’t just read it. Are there any themes in your list of dreams/ambitions. Anything you keep coming back to? If there are then those are clues. Stick with it.

Goff says, “…your dreams come in three sizes: easy, kind of hard, and seemingly impossible. The size of your ambitions doesn’t necessarily indicate the difficulty of achieving them.”

The author talks about so many more things in this book. Like putting yourself into the “stream of possibility.” Yes, you can do that. And figuring out how God wired you. Being a real dreamer and not a daydreamer. How? Take action.

Bookish Weapon Number Thirty-Six

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Gary John Bishop is an interesting character and the author of the book, “Stop Doing That Sh*t.” It is a self-help book. You wouldn’t pick it up unless you thought you needed to help your self in some way, especially if you thought you needed to stop doing something.

It is a book that approaches self-sabotage in a different light than what I have read in the past. It is not for everybody. There is, of course, lots of bad language and he doesn’t apologize for that. After all, he also wrote the book, “Unfu*k Yourself.”

The Dedication

I liked his dedication. How many of you just skip over a dedication in a book. It isn’t what you are after or so you think. However, I thought it was well said in this case so I will share.

“I dedicated this book to the helpless and hopeless, the frustrated and defeated: today is a day when it can all begin anew. I don’t care about your past, and you shouldn’t either.”

Good, right? So if you are helpless and hopeless this book might be one you should read. But you say you have lots of hope! Hope that your car doesn’t break down again because you can’t afford to get it fixed, Hope that you can pay the rent. Hope you don’t get sick. You get the gist of this, lots of hope. Right!

Your Center

Bishop calls it your core and asks what is at the core of every human. His answer is “bullshit.” That’s pretty original and a lot different than other answers you would get from self-help gurus.

I really liked what he says about self-talk. “Your self-talk is the locker room of your life.” And he goes on to elaborate:

“People are little more than a living conversation, both internal and spoken. A dialogue in a body. A skin-and-bone bag that talks, and it talks about everything, and the limit of that talk is the limit of that life. Period.” The bold is mine. He says it is not the horrible life you have but the conversation you are having about it that has you by the throat.

Self Sabotage

This is a large part of the book so I will be taking bits and pieces from it. Please read the book if you want to get more out of it.

I liked a quote he reproduces from the writings of Marcus Aurelius’s writings, “The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts.”

There are three saboteurs. “The three saboteurs are the fundamental conclusions you have come to about yourself, other people in your life, and life itself.”

The Question

Bishop asked himself the question, “Why is my life the way it is?” It is a decent question. Have you asked it yourself? Maybe your life is perfect. If so Bishop would ask why you were reading his book. Anyway, he came up with some reasons.

He says that if you want to accomplish some things you have to get used to see other things. He puts it this way, “Whatever you are out to accomplish in this life, you’ll have to get more than a little okay with the experience of struggle or hell, even overwhelm.”

Also, he claims that those who survive are those that are the best predictors. “Every Monday morning is the same because you are already predicting how it will go before it even starts.” He says you have an opinion about how everything is going to go. Your subconscious is responsible.

I like what he says here. “Circumstances may change, but what stays the same is how you see them, as well as how you deal with them and ultimately how you participate in life.” He goes on, “Your entire life to this point has been a series of actions subconsciously driven to trap you in the same bubble of life.”

He says your “subconscious is working you like a sock puppet.” I thought that was pretty funny. He says people are more concerned with fixing themselves than improving themselves.

The Three Saboteurs

You have a way your subconscious views yourself, other people and life. Bishop takes you through the steps find our what those are for you. These are your established truths. I liked that part of the book.

He says, “You? You’re victimizing yourself into a truly forgettable life. Like most people, you’d rather explain your life than intervene in it.” “Your actions are always in alignment with your conclusions.” Of course, he is talking about your conclusions regarding yourself, other people and life. He goes on, “Day after day, week after week, year after year, you see yourself in the same way, you see others in a very distinct way and you see life in the same way you always see it. Talk about predictable.”

He says you form these conclusions in your first two decades of life. Twenty is fifty-four years ago for me. I can’t remember what conclusions I had come to at that time. I think for me the most negative conclusions about these three things came much later in life.

Once you dig down and discover what these are for you, he tells you that you can’t change it. And here is where we disagree. He says the solution is to focus only on the future and do what your future tells you to do. What? Maybe that’s good for younger people but not when you are creeping up on the average life expectancy.

However, the book has some great insights about life so I highly recommend it.

Bookish Weapon Number Thirty-Two

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This book, “Awareness,” by Anthony De Mello was written some time ago but has received recent accolades from the likes of Tim Ferriss and others. There is a good reason for it. He was certainly one of the first proponents of mindfulness although he didn’t call it that.

The book is short with big ideas. Sometimes those are the best kind. You can just read them over and over again.

Sleeping

De Mello says most people are asleep. He says, “They never understand the loveliness and the beauty of this thing we call human existence.” He goes on to say that “all Mystics, Catholic, Christian, non-Christian, no matter what their theology, no matter what their religion – are unanimous on one thing: that all is well, all is well.”

Insights abound in this book. Being asleep is discussed throughout the book and he makes a point that people do not want to “be cured.” “What they want is relief; a cure is painful.” “Most people go to a psychiatrist or psychologist to get relief. I repeat: to get relief. Not to get out of it.” So he says you need to “realize that you don’t want to wake up.”

You

Here is a passage that struck me and like I so often do I will quote the whole thing. It is an idea I think everyone needs to hear especially in this day and age where it seems everyone is running to therapy over even minor things. He says that we are “not ok” but it doesn’t matter. We should just observe (be aware). Then he says,

“This reminds me of the fellow in London after the war. He’s sitting with a parcel wrapped in brown paper in his lap; it’s a big, heavy object. The bus conductor comes up to him and says, “What do you have on your lap there?” And the man says, “This is an unexploded bomb. We dug it out of the garden and I am taking it to the police station.” The conductor says, “You don’t want to carry that on your lap. Put it under the seat.”

“Psychology and spirituality (as we generally understand it) transfer the bomb from your lap to under your seat. They don’t really solve your problems. Has that ever struck you? You had a problem, now you exchange it for another one. It’s always going to be that way until we solve the problem called “you.”

Suffering

“Do you want a sign you’re asleep? Here it is: You’re suffering. Suffering is a sign that you are out of touch with the truth.”

He says, “All suffering is caused by my identifying myself with something, whether that something is within me or outside me.” “Grief is a sign that I made my happiness depend on this thing or person, at least to some extent.”

He makes the case for enjoying people not for who they are but also for more than who they are and we are. He goes on to say that, Loneliness is not cured by human company. Loneliness is cured by contact with reality.” Then he talks about the “organized industry” designed to distract us from reality. I/Phone anyone?

How about some “bliss.” De Mello says, “There’s only one reason why you’re not experiencing what in India we call Anand – bliss, bliss. There’s only one reason why you’re not experiencing bliss at this present moment, and it is because you’re thinking or focusing on what you don’t have.”

Wisdom

The Bible says wisdom begins with the fear of God. I am sure De Mello has read this and agrees, but he says there are four steps to wisdom. First, you need to become aware of negative feelings you didn’t realize you had. Second, is to “understand that the feeling is in you, not in reality.” The third step is to “Never identify with that feeling. It has nothing to do with the I…don’t say, “I am depressed.” He says you can say “It is depressed.” You should not define yourself in terms of a feeling. That is a mistake. The fourth step is to change yourself. Don’t try to change somebody else. Realize that “the world is right because I feel good.” You feeling good goes first.

De Mello says, “There is no explanation you can give that would explain away all the sufferings and evil and torture and destruction and hunger in the world! “…Because life is a mystery, which means your thinking mind cannot make sense out of it. For that you’ve got to wake up and then you’ll suddenly realize that reality is not problematic, you are the problem.”

Life

“Life only makes sense when you perceive it as mystery and it makes no sense to the conceptualizing mind.” How about that statement! I agree with him when he says. “Loneliness is when you are missing people, aloneness is when you’re enjoying yourself.”

Then he gives us a pretty good definition of awareness. It is like mindfulness without the wanting. He puts it this way, “When people say they want to experience every moment, they are really talking awareness, except for the “wanting.”

Death

“You are not living until it doesn’t matter a tinker’s damn to you whether you live or die.” Now that is something to think about. He doesn’t end there. “People mistakenly think that living is keeping the body alive. So love the thought of death. Love it.”

Then he suggests visiting a graveyard. Consider the people there. How short their lives were.

I must confess that I am asleep and hope I remain asleep if being awake means you don’t care if your alive or dead. I think his perspective may be due to the fact that he is old as he writes this and closer to death or I am just to stupid to grasp this idea.

Love

He says, “Give up your dependency. Tear away the tentacles of society that have enveloped and suffocated your being. You must drop them. Externally, everything will go on as before, but though you will continue to be in the world, you will not be of it.”

And then he says something I can really identify with. “It will help, too, if you return to nature. Send the crowds away, go up to the mountains, and silently commune with trees and flowers and animals and birds, with sea and clouds and sky and stars.” “That is the cure for loneliness.”

Bookish Weapon Number Twenty-Nine

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This book entitled “Monastic Wisdom” was written in 1999 by Hugh Feiss, a Benedictine Monk. If you find God and all things spiritual appalling you might want to skip this. However, thinking about and applying this wisdom in your life gives you a powerful weapon for dealing with suffering and malevolence.

As I write this it is Christmas Day 2019. It seemed an appropriate book to discuss on this Christian holy day. As Hugh says in the introduction, the Benedictine tradition “…has something to teach men and women of all walks of life about how to live wisely and joyfully, how to budget time, how to get along together, how to walk gently on the earth.” I would add or hike.

Time

Benedict separates the day into three activities. These are work, prayer, and reading. Well, I have two out of three down. Hugh says the “Rule of Benedict conveys a sense of urgency: one must hasten and run toward the goal of everlasting life. The goal is precious; there is no time to waste getting there.” I sure don’t want to rush things when it comes to death, but maybe he is saying something different.

Laced in and between those primary activities it is important to make time for mutual support and help. We all can take a lesson from that and make time to support one another. Hugh says,” …after God, other persons are the most important realities in our lives. If we are too busy to make time for people who need us, whether they are strangers or neighbors, there is something wrong with our priorities.”

Prayer

If you don’t pray you can skip this, but if you pray even once in a while this is a section of the book worth reading. The first thing that jumped out at me was the statement that “…lack of concentration at prayer is a sign that our minds are too cluttered.” I really need some work in this area.

Then he quotes Monks from the past about prayer. They are lengthy and I suggest that you read the book if interested. Hugh suggests that there are three important things to remember about prayer: that it is a means of “self-offering,” and that it is a part of life. He says, “One brings one’s activities and concerns to times of prayer; one slips short prayers into the intervals that occur in working and walking and weeding. In the end, prayer is about awareness of the divine presence, and that presence is everywhere.”

Reading

He says the first thing to decide is whether you will devote yourself to reading and the second is what to read. As a Benedictine, he suggests the Bible and early church writers. Of course, I would add for regular folks that they should read from all disciplines so that their “map of the world” is closer to the actual territory.

Just to give you an idea from the Rule of Benedict regarding the importance of reading, here is a snippet: “ During Lent, they should each receive a book from the library that they are to read straight through to the end.” And from the Life of Wulfstan, “At Wulfstan’s table, edifying books were read. Silence was rigorously kept so that all might listen attentively. When the meal was over and the eating place quiet, he would explain what had been read in their native tongue, so that he could provide heavenly alms for those to whom he had already served bodily sustenance.”

And here is an admonition to me. It was like it was written just for me. It is from “Mirror For Monks,” by Louis De Blois. “Do not imitate those who follow no order in their reading but are content to read whatever reading chances to come their way. They are interested in nothing except what is new and unheard of. Whatever is familiar and everything old, however useful, bores them. Avoid such instability, for it does not build the spirit but scatters it.” He is describing me to a tee! My only defense is that it is better I read than not read and I know many who do not. Yes, a flimsy excuse.

Silence

There are so many wonderful sections on this subject. Silence was important in Monastic tradition. Hugh says, “The principal enemy of interior and exterior silence for most of us is our tongue.”

There is one quote that stood out for me. It is from Esther De Waal’s “A Life-Giving Way.” She says, “ …When God’s voice is drowned out by incessant clamor, whether inner or outer, in whatever shape or form, then continuous dialogue with God becomes impossible. An inner monologue with myself, constant chatter with others, the invasion of the spoken word through the press or television are all the ever-present realities in my daily life over which I need to exercise some sort of discipline if I am to keep any quiet inner space in which to listen to the Word.”

There is so much more in the book on peace, patience, stability, obedience, authority, longing and love. It is a great resource for wisdom in all these areas.