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Attacking Adversity

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty-One

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“Overcome,” was outstanding! I wished I had written it. Jason Redman certainly has the credentials. A former Navy Seal, shot up in the Mideast, who eventually overcomes all of that to teach all of us how to get over, under and around adversity.

Maybe it is the military mindset, but these folks have an uncanny ability to come up with terms for every situation. In this book “getting off the X” is one of my favorite. The other is “Are you ready.” Then it just gets better.

Getting Off The X

In Redmand’s world the X is where you are when you are ambushed. It can be in war or life. Divorce, bankruptcy, losing a loved one, or job loss. When those things happen it is you job to get yourself off that X as soon as possible. There is a small group of people that overcome. “Instead of being defined by their loss, they choose to define themselves by the challenges they’ve learned to overcome.” This is a choice!

He says, that to get off the X, you have to REACT.

Recognize your reality
Evaluate your position
Asses possible exit rutes
Choose a direction and communicate it
Take action

Abandon Panic

This is a chapter that must have been written for me, because it is my weakness or at least one of them. Redmand says, ‘When something catastrophic happens, the moment the pressure of panic begins to tighten, stop and take a deep breath. Get oxygen to your rapidly misfiring brain. Actively resist the voice telling you to run or react.”

He continues and says, “You can learn to manage panic if you rely on preparation, calm and positivity.

Are You Ready?

Redmand says, “The average human being will endure at least five major life changes over their lifetime.” So the question is, “Are you ready?” Are you prepared? You say how can I be prepared when I don’t know what is coming my way? You need Redmand’s Pentagon.

The Pentagon consists of five legs: Emotional, Mental, Spiritual, Social and Physical. If all of those are strong then you will be prepared of the next ambush. If one or more is not so strong, you need to work on it.

Purpose and Mission

Redmond spends a good del of time on mission and purpose. He talks about how we need to allow the purpose to change as we change. As yourself, “What do I stand for and what am I passionate about. Those answers will help yo clarify your purpose.

Once you have the purpose and mission you set your course. A course consists of goals that are “realistic, attainable, measurable, and adaptable.” You have probably seen most of those before in writings about goals, but the one that is somewhat unique is being adaptable. That comes from the Navy Seals Semper Gumby theme. Adaptability rules!

As usual, there is so much more in the book so read it or listen to it.

Bookish Weapon Number Sixty

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Mel Robbins is so inspiring and “real.” Her latest book sure is a “bookish weapon” for you all. It is called “The High Five Habit.”

What makes the “High Five Habit,” so special? I’m going to break it down for you.

Simple But Powerful

What Mel wants us all to do when we get up in the morning is high five ourselves in the mirror. That is pretty simple. We all know how to high five someone. Mel acknowledges that it will feel a little strange at first ( I will attest to that). However, once you get rolling all is well.

As you are standing in front of the mirror, look yourself in the eyes, set an intention for the day and then say out loud several possible things depending on your situation. For example, maybe you are afraid of an upcoming speech you need to give and you say, “I’m afraid and I have got this,” or “You can handle this. I know you can.” So you get the idea. The book gives more examples. After only four days I noticed a difference in how I felt about myself. Mel says it is because our mind knows that a high five is a positive congratulation and you are giving it to yourself. It works on you! It changes how you see yourself.

Controlling Negative Self Talk

There are other books that discuss this in detail as well, but I really liked Mel’s approach. When a negative thought appears in your head you say, “I’m not thinking about that.” Then you replace that thought with something positive. You are checking your mental filter.

As Mel points out that, “It’s dead simple, but if you are an over thinker, a worrier, a catastrophizer, paralyzed by fears, or struggling with anxiety, this is a life changing. Keep interrupting those negative thoughts every time they pop up during the day. Then as I mentioned above, you replace the thought with something positive and Mel gives you a whole list of Matras to choose from or find your own. Here is a sample from her list: “I deserve to feel good today.” “I have my own back.” “This is teaching me something I need to know.”

Obstacles and Opportunity

This part of the book was a great reminder for me that obstacles can mean opportunity. Mel tells a story about a Uber driver she met with a dream and how she helped him. She points out that “…there are two kinds of people: People who see obstacles and people who see opportunity.” She points out that the “high five attitude is action oriented and sees opportunity.”

What are the practical steps? If you say to yourself, “Now is not the right time for my dreams,” Mel says to flip it to, “If I put in the work I can make it happen.” She advises us to set a deadline. Then write all this down! If you write it down it is a signal that it is important to you. Ok, you got it? Then get Mel’s book. There is a lot more in it!

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Nine

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Normally I comment on non-fiction books, but I am a true fan of Lee Child’s Jack Reacher books and have read every one of them. They are page turners so I thought I would let you know what you are missing. Are they bookish weapons? Sure, maybe you can get lethal like Reacher.

If I already wrote about the Reacher books (I don’t think I did) that’s ok, because they are so good. The genre is Crime Thriller, but I never paid much attention to that. I thought of them as Spy Novels for a long time.

Story

All of these books including, “The Sentinel” have a story formula that hooks you. Jack Reacher is traveling about the country, stops in a town or an area and promptly gets involved in some nefarious circumstance. Then he uses his skills as a former military police officer to figure out what’s going on.

It isn’t quite like the “hero’s journey” because in the hero’s journey the hero gets thrust into an adventure and has to acquire skills to get through it or at least that is how I understand it. Reacher already has all the skins he needs and then some.

Reacher

One of the things that makes Reacher’s character so appealing is his bigger the life persona. He is (unique Tom Cruise) huge. Very tall with big hands that cover someones face easily. He knows al sorts of fighting moves the allow him to subdue any antagonist easily. If the bad guys are untrained he can usually handle up to five at a time. He always gives them the option of not fighting and tells them they can avoid the hospital.

Jack isn’t just a big neanderthal either. He knows what time it is without looking at a clock and picks up clues easily. I have not read one of his books where he hasn’t solved the mystery or crime.

He travels across the country on a military pension. Never washes his clothes. He buys new ones when they get dirty. Usually he meets a woman and eventually finds himself involved until it is time to move on again.

The Sentinel

As I said, I have read all of Reachers books. One comes out every fall. This one was one of the most recent. I suppose I should say something about it, but it is like all the others except this one he wrote with his son, Andrew Child. It ends almost the same as all the others. He is hitchhiking and someone stops for him and in this case tells him he is going to Nashville. So he has this conversation with himself. Let me quote”

“He had just left Nashville, and he had a rule. Never go back. It rarely ends well. But he had been making a few exceptions recently. They had all worked out ok.”

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Eight

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James Altucher is one of my favorite authors. he wrote “Choose Yourself,” which was fantastic. If I have not reviewed that book I will. “Skip The Line,” is equally good.

Altucher has lost money and made money as he always reminds readers. We can learn from his mistakes and he is not shy about discussing what he has done wrong in the past.

The 10,000 Experiments Rule

You all have heard or read that you need to spend 10,000 hours doing something to become the best at it or master it. James says you should do 10,000 experiments. He says before you know something is a good idea you need to run an experiment. Enough ideas and enough experiments and some things are going to work.

Plus James points out that experiments, like his idea for a “Going Steady” app can be easy to set up and do, there is little downside, there’s huge potential upside, it’s never been done before, and you are learning something new. So he says, “There are only two possible results: you either learn something…or the experiment succeeds. There is no failure. He goes on to talk about Galileo’s famous experiment that changed the world.

Then he says that “Conducting 10,000 experiments, or even far fewer, can lead to great knowledge and great success, and it’s the quickest way to skip the line to the top of a profession with as little downside as possible.”

Building Microskills

Altucher talks a lot abut micro skills. It is all one word in his book. It is one of the tools he says you need to get the idea of doing 10,000 experiments going. Most of the book is about these tools. He says you need to stand out. To be the only one like you. To build your unique perspective ad you need these tools to do that.

An example of micro skills is writing. It isn’t jut one skill. You need to be able to tell a story, understand language play, character development, etc. You get the idea.

Who Are You? Why Are You? Why Now?

This is a chapter in the book that I really liked. One of the things he says is that we all will have more than one purpose in our lifetimes and that “obsession is the first clue toward finding your purpose.” He says to look on your phone and see what pictures you’re taking. I take pictures of mountain scenery! Hmm…

He advises to find out what you are scared of because “fear is a compass.” And he goes on, “Without that fear, you know that you are just repeating what others have done before you. That’s why instinctively, you know it’s safe.” That’s good advice!

Learn Idea Calculus

Again, that is the title of a chapter. James is very big on ideas. He recommends writing down 10 ideas a day, every day. So idea calculus includes idea subtraction, idea multiplication, idea division, idea sex (yes, it is very powerful) and idea subsets. This last one is breaking down ideas into parts within parts.

He says, “Many people don’t understand that execution is a spectrum. You can be bad or good. The way you get good at execution is to having good execution ideas. The way to get good at execution ideas is to exercise your idea muscle. When you have an idea there are many possible ways to execute on that idea. It’s like opening a mystical third eye: you can see all the possible futures and choose the bet one. And how do you know which one I best? You guessed it: by experimenting.”

There is so much more in this book! Please read it. You will be glad you did.

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Seven

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Garrett White is the author of “WarriorBook.” I was introduced to it by enrolling in his challenge, which was very useful for me. Check out Wake Up Warrior online. He focuses on those men who have a business and family. He helps them have it all in Body, Being and Balance. It sure is a bookish weapon!

So what is the WarriorBook all about? First of all it is 512 pages long so I am only going to touch the surface of this monster. It spends a lot of time discussing “The Pit.” The pit is where you are when things are not going so well. He also talks a lot about the Drift and Shift model. Then he discusses “The Core,” “The Keys,” and “The Game.”

The Pit

Garrett says that “At some point you will find yourself in the Pit of Despair playing the Sedation game. Your Liberation will come through your ability to hear and act on the Voice inside of you.” This is a whole chapter discussing boredom and burnout, and Garrett’s own experience in the Pit. He gets pretty real including fights with his wife, divorces and financial problems.

I liked his explanation of “Sedation,” which is using alcohol, drugs or whatever to numb yourself. I thought “sedation” was an excellent term for this.

Men

This is a book for men and about men. Here is a quote from the book that will gibe you an idea about where he is coming from. He is talking about the depolarization of couples and one of his points is “We don’t even know what being a man is anymore because everywhere we turn men are being disappointed, disjointed, and disconnected. They’re being told, “Shut up, go get the money, don’t talk about your feelings, and just so you know, we don’t need you because we are the same.”

So Garrett got things rolling with the Warrior programs. He figured he was the one that needed to do it. To give men a chance to have it all.

Questions

Here are some questions Garrett has you answer that might just help you sort things out a a man:

Is your life working?
What does living mean?
What does it mean for me to ultimately have it all?
What do I want my life to look like?
What do I want as a man?
Are you ready to pay the necessary price?

Body, Being, Balance, Business

One of the things Garrett hits hard is the importance of hitting your four “Core.” These are the above. Body – Fitness plus fuel (diet and exercise), Being – Meditation and Focus, Balance – Partner/Posterity, Business – Discover and Declare.

Then he says ask more questions:
Am I winning? Am I winning the game of life? Is it worth it to play? (Huge question) What are the targets I am searching to hit today, this week, this month, this quarter? How do I know I am winning? How do I simplify my life down to a game of metrics?

This book is available on audio I think. However, a search on Amazon does not turn it up. You might have to take one of his challenges to get it.

Bookish Weapon Number Fifty-Six

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“The Attributes,” by Rich Diviney will teach you a lot about things you thought you already knew. Things that you can use in the fight. There were two examples in the book that took me by surprise. Accountability and Narcissism.

I focus first on these because I found them most interesting. After those I will look at some others.

Accountability

There are twenty-five Attributes in the book, so why start with this one? It is because discovered I was very low in it. I thought I understood what it meant, but then Diviney explained that one of the things that someone who is accountable doesn’t do is be a mediator.

He explains by saying that someone who is a mediator will get an order from the boss and then go tell his subordinates that this is the new order and he doesn’t necessarily agree with it but it is whet the boss wants. That is being a mediator and is bad. You should rather own that order like it was your own.

Narcissism

My first reaction was that you would not want a Narcissist on your team, but I was wrong.

The author points out that everybody has a degree of narcissism in them and a certain amount of it is a good thing. It is only when it gets out of hand that it becomes a negative. You need a decent dose of it to get yourself to take on a challenge. Otherwise you wouldn’t try.

Resilience

The best story in the book is the one about Hank. He lost both his legs in war. When he wakes up in the hospital and realizes he has no legs he says to himself, ”I’m going to be fine. Grab the paper towels.” Apparently his mother had taught him not to cry over spilt milk. He had dropped a bottle of milk and it splattered all over the floor. His mother told him to “Get the paper towels.” That stuck with him.

If you are high in resilience then maybe you would react like Hank. Hank also says, “Getting over the little tragedies in daily life is how you get over the big tragedies.” He says he became resilient before he lost his legs.

Discipline

You probably think you know all about discipline. You read Jocko Willink’s book “Discipline Equals Freedom.” You didn’t, well read it then. Anyway, I thought there was just one kind of discipline, self-discipline. It turns out I was wrong again. Diviney explains that self-discipline is not eating the cookie, overcoming emotions and weaknesses, but discipline is about “accomplishing external goals.”

The other thing is that self-discipline is a skill and discipline is an attribute! As he says, “Discipline is the determined ability to remain focused until goals are accomplished.” That is huge. I never realized the difference for some reason.

Conscientiousness

Ok, this is the last one. I don’t need to re-write the book. However, Diviney tells another story about a man named Chris that displayed this characteristic. It is “an amalgam of traits and behaviors. Persistence, thoroughness, and predictability are key parts of a conscientious personality, as are resourcefulness, energy, and planning.”

Chris was a Navy SEAL going through BUDs. Divine says he volunteered for everything. He was always looking to do more. In his childhood he learned that you should always be looking to help. This carried into adulthood. His philosophy served him in civilian life as well when he became a SWAT team commander. His men figured, “If the boss is always looking for something to do, the theory goes, maybe I should too.”

Remember, there are 25 attributes in the book. Don’t miss ay of them. Read it!