Bookish Weapon Number Forty

Today we are going to revisit the author Barbara Hansen by looking at another one of her other books, “Picking Up The Pieces.” We looked at “The Strength Within,” in another Bookish Weapon post.

In this book, Barbara explains what happened to her when she was nineteen years old and how that changed her life. Then she discusses the things that allowed her to thrive in the future. She says her realizations can be life-changing for us. Here are a few.

Time Doesn’t Heal Us: We Heal Ourselves

We choose how we respond to loss. She says, “I am convinced that we’re destroyed not so much by forces outside ourselves as by forces within.” We choose how we respond to loss.

She dislikes the phrase “Time Heals” and says it implies “that id we just keep breathing long enough our sorrow and grief will vanish. Nonsense. I’ve watched too many people walk through loss to accept the idea that “time heals.” The more accurate statement is “time numbs.”

Develop Internal Resources

Barbara discusses five internal resources that we can develop. These are so helpful.

Believe in your own uniqueness – “…affirm that life indeed has a pattern and determine how we fit into that mosaic.
Discover Success is Intangible – “…It is what we are and not what we have that makes us successful.”
Listen With Love – Focus on others and listen to there problems
Live Life In Small Slices – Live in the moment and not for the moment diminishes our pain.
Invest In Solitude – Get acquainted with your internal self and discover new strengths.

Exploring Some of These Five

She has a personal theology where she believes God is Love and she is a channel of that Love. This gives her meaning. And she says no matter your religious beliefs: “each of us is a tiny piece of the mosaic of life. Before we can successfully walk through a loss, we need to affirm that life does indeed have a pattern and determine how we fit into the total picture.”

She goes on to say that she believes she is a valuable piece in life’s pattern. A loss does not erase a person’s uniqueness. “Believing in your own uniqueness gives you the strength to pick up the pieces.”

She measures her success by asking herself the following questions:

Am I a loving, kind, caring individual?
Am I filled with inner peace, serenity, and stability?
Am I positive, joyful and content?
Do I like the person I am becoming?
Do I welcome each day?
Do I laugh easily?
Do I enjoy my friends and family?
Do I have a good relationship with God?
Do I have something to hope for, a goal I’m working toward?
Do I have someone to love?

These are fantastic questions to ask yourself even if the answers might make you very uncomfortable.

This book is out of print, but there are used copies available from time to time. If you can find it get it. There is so much more in the book.