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Attacking Adversity

Bookish Weapon Number Twenty-Eight

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Jen Sincerco doesn’t seem to be shy. Her book’s title speaks to that. “You Are A Badass” carries an extroverted punch. Even the subtitle gets you excited to hear more. Look at this, “How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness And Start Living An Awesome Life.” See, it isn’t how to stop doubting yourself. That would be far too timid and shy.

This is a motivational book with lots of good reminders for all of us. As with most decent books it contains stories. The best one in this book is Jen’s.

Risk

Sincerco says she wanted to make money but also get over her fear and hatred of it. So she attended seminars and then hired a coach by running up credit card debt. Seems familiar to me. At least running up the credit card debt. But that is some serious risk-taking.

What would Sincerco say to that? Well, here is a quote, “If you want to live a life you’ve never lived you have to do things you’ve never done.”

All Of Us

We all have a conscious and subconscious mind. The problem is the subconscious mind has no filter. It takes in whatever you expose it to. Think of your brain as a house with no doors or locks and your subconscious as a room in it. Sincerco doesn’t explain it that way. I do. So, what if people were coming into the room in your house without you being aware of it. Then they start whispering in your ear and you start doing what they tell you to. Spooky.

Ok, back to Jen’s take on all this. She says the following:

“Our subconscious mind contains the blueprint for our life. It’s running the show based on the unfiltered information it gathered when we were kids, otherwise known as our “beliefs.”
We are for the most part completely oblivious to these subconscious beliefs the run our lives.
When our conscious minds finally develop and show up for work, no matter how big and highfalutin they grow up to be, they’re still being controlled by the beliefs we’re carrying around in our subconscious minds.”

Jen says that the first step is to become aware of these beliefs. Then later in the book, she goes deeper.

The Universe

Nobody in today’s secular world wants to use the word, God. In fact, Sincerco refers to the “G” word as if it is a profanity. How sad that is. However, she quickly translates “God” to “Universe” and “Source Energy,” and continues. So if you are a believer just translate it back again.

She says, “we are all connected to this limitless power.” Then she says “the Universe is made of source energy. All energy vibrates at a certain frequency. This means you’re vibrating at a certain frequency, and everything you desire and don’t desire, is also vibrating at a certain frequency. Vibration attracts like vibration.” That’s pretty good! She equates low frequency with negativity so we need to increase our vibration frequency. And then she tells us that, “The Universe will match whatever vibration you put out. You can’t fool the Universe.”

Finally, she says, “In order to truly raise your vibration you’ve got to believe the everything you want is available to you. And the best way to keep this belief strong is to stay connected to Source Energy.”

Self Perception

“It is just as easy to believe we’re awesome as it is to believe we are giant sucking things.” So as Chapter 6 says, “Love the One You Is.” No more self-deprecating humor. “Don’t compare yourself to others…Comparison is the fastest way to take all the fun out of life.”

“You are responsible for what you say and do. You are not responsible for whether people freak out about it.” “What other people think about you has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.”

Purpose

Here is one I really liked. “When we share what we were brought here to give, we are in alignment with our highest, most powerful selves.” Not sure what you are here to give. Take some action Jen says because action reveals things that thinking doesn’t.

“Tap into what brings you great joy instead of what you think you need to do to survive.” Great advice!

Thoughts and Beliefs

“Your thoughts and beliefs dictate your reality.” I sure wish I could remember that every second of every day. Whatever it is for you. Whatever your beliefs happen to be here is the truth: “AS LONG AS YOU FEED THE BEAST IT SHALL LIVE.” Capitalization is mine. She continues by emphasizing that you have to change the belief before the evidence will appear.

The more I learn about the brain, especially the subconscious, the more I am convinced of the above. Tony Robbins is big on “limiting beliefs.” He teaches you how to change them. The important thing to remember is to continue to change them and continue to condition yourself.

“Lead With Your Crotch”

Ok, Jen gets a little graphic. That is the title of chapter twelve. She is very funny. However, she makes some excellent points in this chapter.

She tells us to “just see what you can get away with.” I like that. It is a good philosophy for everyone but the criminals in society. Here is a good one, “Don’t just hand your life over to your circumstances like a little wuss. You can take your life wherever you want it to go, so go grab it by its nether regions and make doing the things you love a priority.” Can you imagine being married to a woman like this? That would be intimidating!

I loved this book and there is so much more in it. So go buy it now!

Bookish Weapon Number Twenty-Seven

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“You Are Awesome,” by Neil Pasricha is an inspiring book and certainly a weapon for you to use as you make your way through this life. This is a fun book with interesting and uplifting stories in it that keep your attention.

End Of The Sentence

What comes at the end of a sentence? A question mark? Maybe, but more often it is a period. Neil suggests that we should all be open to making that period a “…” A what? A dot, dot, dot. This tells the reader there is more to come. You lose a job and it is not just “I lost my job.” It is I lost my job…” There is always more to the story so you need “the quiet courage to change the punctuation.”

He goes on to say that “Everything you do, every path you take, every diagnosis you get, every wall you hit, every setback, every failure, every rejection. All of these experiences are part of the unfinished sentence of your life story.” Isn’t that the best? It is a perfect way to look at everything that happens.

The Illusion

Neil calls it “the end of history illusion.” It is when one thing happens and you decide that is it. Everything is over. My life is over. He puts it so well when he says, “We all think that the way things are now is the way things will always be.” I lost my job and I will never find another. I got a divorce and I will never have another relationship. Well, that is the case with me, but that is another story. Neil says the researchers call this the “end of history illusion.” Then he goes on to say that “everything we go through in life is a step to help us get to a better place.”

Questions

Questions seem to be the answer to a lot of things. Tony Robbins talks about asking higher quality questions and that everyone has a “Primary Question” they ask themselves, but that is another article. Neil discusses the necessity to “tilt the lens.” To see the stories you tell yourself from a different perspective and he gives you three questions to help with this.

The first question is “Will this matter on my deathbed?” Good question. Will it? The second is “Can I do something about it?” Another good question. And finally, “ Is this a story I am telling myself?” We can really spin some stories on top of any situation or reality. Be careful with that and be sure to ask this question.

Confession

In my Catholic days going to confession always felt better after the event. Neil has a section devoted to the importance of getting it out. He suggests that you give yourself three prompts every morning.

The first one has to do with letting go of regrets that you are aware of. The three questions:

I will let go of…
I am grateful for…
I will focus on…

I can tell you from experience that the second of these really helps your perspective on day to day life.
The book contains much more so go get it and read it. You will be happy you did.

Bookish Weapon Number Twenty-Four

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This book by Barbara Hansen had a profound impact on me at a time when I was struggling so I am hoping it will be useful for you as well. With that in mind, I will highlight a few of my favorite parts of the book.

First, however, I think the author’s back story is important. She was paralyzed at 19 years old and spent the rest of her life in a wheelchair. She describes some of her challenges including getting out of bed every morning using an elaborate hoisting method. Then she loses her home in a storm. So she is very qualified to discuss overcoming adversity.

Internal Resources

Hansen’s main focus is on developing internal resources to handle life’s difficulties. She talks about creating a “steel core of spiritual strength. There are three important first steps she discusses: 1) Process the pain of the past 2) Choose our response to reality 3) Stop making ourselves victims. She says, “By changing our thoughts and attitudes we can modify our actions, habits.” This way we gain inner strength.

What I find interesting is that she does not tell you what attitudes you should have and says this depends on the individual as long as it “nourishes the soul and makes us better people.”

She says, “Memorizing inspirational and peaceful lines from poetry or scripture has given me the inner strength to get through life’s lousy times.” This is good advice. It does take a little bit of work to do the memorization, but it is worth it.

We All Count

Hansen quotes William George Jordan, in his book, “The Majesty of Calmness.” Jordan says, “ Man’s unconscious influence, the silent subtle radiation of his personality, the effect of his words and acts, the trifles he never considers, is tremendous. Every moment of life is changing to a degree the life of the whole world.” Consider that last statement! Every moment of your life is effecting the whole world! That is such an uplifting and serious thought. We all count.

Death, divorce, aging, being single are all reasons for feeling what Hansen calls, “terminally alone.” She calls for all of us to become aware and be the person for someone who feels alone.

Journaling and Books

Hansen doesn’t specifically discuss journaling, but she talks about “typing.” Here is what she says, “ At the end of the day I will often know that life is not right; something’s wrong. Having only this vague sense of discontent, I’ll not be sure exactly what I am feeling or why I am feeling it, but I know something is corrupting my peace of mind. Typing helps me pull my emotions outside of myself and place them onto the screen. The longer I type the clearer my feelings and ideas become, my paper psychiatrist has helped me face, sift through, and deal with the emotional pain that has periodically pounded my life. As thing gives form and focus to my ideas and feelings, I find I am no longer in the clutches of discontent. Talking to my paper psychiatrist gives me a clear awareness of what it feels like to be me.” She says this so much better than I did in my book, but it is one of four things that helped me deal with adversity. I called it journalling and she calls it typing, but it is the same.

She says books give her strength and pleasure. “The insights and inspiration I get from books “refill my pitcher” when my pitcher gets empty.” So grab a book. It can make a difference.

Faith

Hansen says that “faith in God gives us a desire not only to live but to live well unless we believe being alive makes the world a better place, we are going to have a hard time getting in touch with our spiritual core; unless we have faith in our own uniqueness, we’ll find it difficult to to have faith in a power higher than ourselves.”…”This faith in our personal spiritual value gives us staying power when life hands us rotten reality.”

I love the final sentence in her book after she discusses the importance of spirituality as an anchor in everyone’s life and the hope it gives us. Then she says, “This hope isn’t the certainty that life will turn out well; it’s the belief that life makes sense regardless of how it turns out.”

Go Hiking And See A UFO

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Well, if you don’t get into the mountains there is much less chance you will see anything. Now, if you are snickering or rolling your eyes right now, check out the Joe Rogan podcast number 1361 with Cmdr. David Fravor and Jeremy Corbell. Now that you have listened to that, I will continue.

Oh, you don’t have the time to listen to it? Ok, let’s just think about all this.

The Media and UFOs

Recently I was listening to David Sinclair discuss his findings in the area of anti-aging. Some of the things he talks about are amazing. Then I heard a radio newscast discussing his book, laughing and joking about it. Of course, they do the same thing with the subject of UFOs.

The other extreme is Coast to Coast. Listen to George Nori. He took over where Art Bell left off. There you will not only hear credible stories but crazy nut cases as well. It is great entertainment.

Mountains and UFOs

The first reported sighting of a UFO was over Mt Rainier in the 50s. UFOs like to fly over mountains. Those green guys probably just like the view.

If you hike in the dark as I do, well before sunrise you can see all sorts of things up in the sky that you don’t see during the day. Even if you just hike during the day, keep an eye on the sky, because you never know what might show up.

My Experience

Yes, I saw something that I have never been able to explain. It was years ago at Lake Wenatchee, at night. I was lying on the beach, sober, looking up at the stars. I saw a couple of satellites move across the sky and then I saw something amazing. From four different directions, these white, star-like objects converged on an imaginary point. When they all met in the middle they immediately went back out away from the center. Each one probably just kept going the same direction. They all disappeared. Oh, how fast? Very fast! I have never been able to explain it or have anyone else explain it to me.

As Joe Rogan and others have said, “We are not alone.”

Bookish Weapon Number Twenty

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From now on I am going to see if I can tie my hiking post in with the book I am discussing. So this time I picked, “Claim Your Power, by Mastin Kip. It is a powerful book. There is no doubt about that. I got a lot out of it. Do I agree with everything in the book? No.

It is, as the subtitle says, “A 40 day journey to dissolve the hidden blocks that keep you stuck and finally thrive in your life’s unique purpose.” Here are some of the best ideas.

Finding Your Purpose

This was one of the best parts of the book. Kipp has you pay attention to your heart and then he says to remember when you were a child and ask the following question. “What is the earliest, happiest memory I can remember? Then accept the first memory that comes to mind. Then write it down and ask yourself the following: “Who was in the memory? What did I believe about life in that moment?” Then think a bit about that. Then ask what the next happiest memory followed by the same questions just mentioned. Then you repeat the entire process again and again and again. With the last one he has you list a most recent happy memory with the same followup questions.

Next you write down each of the five memories again. Then you go through a process of finding the emotions behind each memory. Then he drills down to your two “primary emotions.” You need to get the book!

Finally he has you fill in the blank for this statement: “I was born to_____myself and my Higher Power, and feel the ______that results while inspiring others to feel the same.”

How about that! Pretty powerful I think. I have done similar exercises where you go back to your childhood and I think they are very good at getting to who you are at your core.

This book is full of exercises to help you.

Your Soul’s Mission

Another section in the book takes you through the process of discovering your mission. It is very good. It s about how your purpose driven goals align with your Soul’s mission and discovering your special gift. He says it is what comes easy to you and I ask, what if nothing come easy to me? But that is another story. I liked some of the questions such as, “How can I turn my goals into a mission greater than myself?

If you, like me, say that nothing comes easy to you, one of the things you might consider which is not discussed in this book is a “talent stack.” It is a stack of skills that you might not find easy but you are pretty good at. If you want to know more about this stack check out the creator of Dilbert, Scott Adams. That is how he became successful.

Bookish Weapon Number One

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Let’s look at three powerful statements that taken together are one Bookish Weapon. But first, bookish weapons are everywhere because books are readily available especially in the area of self-help. Today’s bookish weapon is from “The Resilience Factor,” by Karen Reivich, PH.D. and Andrew Shatte, PH.D. This book really helped me train my mind.

The Resilience Factor, review by Bill Montgomery

The Resilience Factor, review by Bill Montgomery

Do you know your ABCs?

They are the basics for handling adversity. You could say this is the ground zero bookish weapon. The A stands for adversity. That one is pretty easy. What about B & C? First (or I guess it is second) take C. C is for consequences, feelings, and behavior.

Most often when adversity happens we feel something, do something, or both. Stimulus – response. Pavlov’s dog, right? Often we get wrapped up in the consequences without even realizing how we got there. It is much more complicated than that and we can have much more control over our feelings and behavior. That brings us to the B in ABC.

“B” stands for Beliefs

This is what you believe about the adversity. Let’s say you get a flat tire in the morning on the way to work. Is it an inconvenience or is it going to ruin your whole day? Well, if you have a belief that the beginning of a day sets the tone for the whole day, then maybe it will ruin your day. Remember, your beliefs determine your consequences, feelings, and behavior.

The authors do point out that sometimes, like when a bear is about to attack you, or your pet gets run over by a car. The emotions are triggered by the event and not beliefs.

Use this knowledge to identify beliefs and help you clarify what happened. Discover the belief that triggered your emotion. Now, challenge it.

Bookish Weapons

Relvich and Shatte give you three statements that help you be resilient in real time:

A more accurate way of seeing this is…
That’s not true because…
A more likely outcome is…and I can…

As I mentioned these three statements are a Bookish Weapon themselves. They are powerful and force you to think through the situation and my favorite part of the book.

There are also what they call Iceberg Beliefs. I think Tony Robbins would call them Global Beliefs like “Life is a struggle.” They can support you or not. The question to ask is, “What is this belief costing me?

Stay on offense!